She seemed to have the ability to catch his eye
When he walked in to a room, he could feel her presence
She flourished like a daffodil in the spring and I wilted
I sank in to myself and was invisible

He would talk of her like I was not his entirely
Like he did not have my heart on marionette strings
And little by little, with every mention of her name,
He took rusty scissors and snipped at the fibers

He disregarded it all entirely, like I was delusional
Maybe he just wanted to protect me from what he knew I knew
What he tried to bury inside himself and hide behind his stoic mask
That old friend we both knew so well

I sat up and thought to myself countless doubtful days
"What does she posses that I do not? Is my love not enough?"
As much as I envied the way he loved her, there was never a second
That I felt enmity towards this woman that held my lover's attention

It was only a deep longing in my heart to make him feel
Even a modicum of the way she made his heart bloom
To have him run to me and want me in his life
Instead of coveting someone he only claimed to be his friend

In place of hating the other woman, I foolishly tried my hardest
To befriend her, to appreciate the same qualities in her that he did
She even invited me to something so I wouldn't hate him for going
I wish she had known me well enough to know I wanted to be friends

Over the years, I got stronger and wiser, but I still was his fool
The boy I loved so much could never reciprocate those feelings for me
He wandered and I let him go, to go chase what I knew he always wanted
But she did not desire him, and as mean as it sounds, it felt like justice

But time has gone far out in to space, I have lived since him
And she is now where I was, a life's love lost for another
In all of this, my only hope for her, is that she finds the strength
To not hate the other woman even though he loves her

It was not your fault he went away, he was never meant to stay
If it wasn't for you, I would have not known of his incomplete love
Thank you for saving me the agony of living my life with the wrong man
I pray you never give up hope in love and in life
Because someone better will come along exactly when you need them

There was fire in her eyes and then the floods rolled in
The way they did during Noah's time, uncontrollable and unceasable
Her throat swelled and eyes leaked, a reoccurring problem
Of tedious persistence, of insidious intent
He was convinced she talked just to fight
To impress upon one, the beliefs of another

But I don't wish for you to change yourself
I don't want to force you when you need to experience the joy that you feel
When you know that every single modicum of your life
Is extremely out of your control, but you know in the deepest pit
Of your soul that everything will be absolutely okay
Because He is the one driving force you can count on
A single consistency in a world of uncertainty

The peace and the mercy you feel when you know
That all of the bad things you have done, like forgetting to give back
That girl's pencil in fifth grade to unjustly breaking someone's heart
Or something so dark that its magnitude weighs you down,
Are all forgiven, and all you need to do is come and listen
Wonder and ask, seek and you will find, believe in something for a change
See the brightness in Him that you have only seen through me

I can imagine us growing old, having adventures, going places
But I also can see myself lying awake at night, and feeling a deep sense
Of loneliness because that is the one area of my life that I can't share with you
I crave spiritual growth, and when you're around, I don't
I am lost between this world and another
Trying my best to straddle a fence between two lives I can't
I fear soon I may fall

I'm stuck in between
What's your right and theirs
And when you place me in center
At me, each side tears

Each side picks their points
In the battlefield of my mind
Each dear to my heart
Each one of them kind

Then, without warning, shots fire
I look left and then right
I'm bombarded from both sides
There's not just black and white

But I see it both ways
I wish, away, I could crawl
You would respect my wishes
If you respect me at all

I want and need to step out
Instead of being stuck in between
To point the cannons at their sources
Instead of at me

From Chicago to Atlanta on the 5:45
I contemplate the fragility of being alive
I sit on the wing with a view of great breadth
While I dream about life and wonder of death

The sun has just set, the moon kisses the sky
And the atmosphere echoes its exhaling sigh
As darkness sets in, the graduation emerges
So I, in the sky, view its majesty in surges

The window is a frame of the moon as a crescent
And I spot a town way down, like a queen to her peasant
There is life, there is motion, there is somewhere to be
There is conflict, there are problems, and then there is me

I snap out of passivity like a casual thought
To locate the flight attendant complementary cart
Since her mobile vending machine is a couple rows down
I return to pensivity and stare at the ground

The tail lights of cars pulse when my true focus starts
As if they were red blood cells exiting the heart
There is a conversation I over hear from 27 E
The girl has dreams of studying alone in Italy

The man has a daughter and he rocks in his seat
They talk like old friends even though they just meet
There are young men in the Navy, and business folks
There is an air of community, peanuts, and hope

As my ears pop constantly and we climb higher
I think of my future and to what I aspire
And I wonder if there's anyone I'll see here again
Close and far away strangers, a view from a plane

Constricted bronchioles and anxiety had a baby
Within my father's chest
They named her asthma
And it is him she does possess

Coughing fits and nervous breaks
Are not easy scenes to bear
Stomach injections, lung inspections
Soiled clothes and messy hair

Then the coctails come, one by one,
Morphine, Pulmocort, Seroquil
An IV is the quickest fix
But it doesn't always fit the bill

Long inhilations, short exhilations
It increases rapidly
It's full blown now, she has attacked
Asthma, you're a mystery

Why do you posses such a man
That cares for others more?
I guess everyone has their weakness
But other have it worse, I am assured

You don't dare disturb me
When I drift off in your arms
You run your hand across my head
Smoothing out my frizzed hair
Such a sweet gesture
For a girl who is half-asleep
Partially in the hologram of slumber
Partially in the dream of reality

But in due time, time has past
The hourglass always runs out of sand
You rouse me from my daze
To drive me home in the midnight hour
I'm Cinderella missing a glass slipper
My horses have already turned back to mice
I have to leave again in a day's time

But as we drive back in the dark
You tell me that you love me
You adore my taste in music
The way I think and speak
My quirks and abnormalities, to you,
Are just like freckles on a cheek

You divulge me deeper in your fondness
You tell me I'm different from the rest
You confess your long high school crush on me
Your love of my head upon your chest

All along you cared for me
Before I cared for you
And as life seemed to fall apart
It reformed into something new
It was us all along
I know it now like you knew it then

Fingers tapping out rhythms of love songs
The beats matching the thumping of our hearts
Your eyes of hazel, so noble, so strong
I knew from then on that we shouldn’t part

But in that time when love seemed too painful
I was leaving all, and you too, behind
To a different state, feeling disdainful
Warfare of apart begins in the mind

But not distance nor life can separate
Your sweet and patient demeanor divine
Reels me in, holds me happy, makes me wait
For more moments, floral as sips of wine

You are a knight dressed in normal clothing
You are the bright of the morn, imposing

You are the kisser of pigment on my lips
With your entrancing, dancing fingertips
You are the sweet surprise I seek
The strands of hair brushed from my cheek

The hands spin round
Lost time unfound
But I'm not looking
For that hint of yesterday

I'm not beating a dead horse
I feel no remorse
A friendly calm memory
Replaces the clashing of pots and pans
That was you and me

Two years and I am at peace
But that doesn't mean we shouldn't speak
Because I miss the friendship we had
But I've known for awhile how to live without it

So it is okay if I'm dismissed
If I ever extend my hand into the abyss
To try to reach you from afar
After so much time
It's nothing more than a wish
That you have a beautiful life

If the beauty standard of a thigh gap
Were replaced with the beauty standard
Of a **** gap
Then many more women would feel
Beautiful

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

We are together still, but
Like a disjointed door
We have a hinge hanging on
And one on the floor

I am always the first to cave in an argument
Like a burning building
With a collapsing ceiling
I fall all at once
The fire is too hot
The smoke is too thick to see my own side

What is it that I want?
What is it that I need?
I'm so used to hearing answers from you
But what about me?

I hate asking questions to myself
Because I don't know the answers to my own dilemmas
I had better begin searching in the corners of rooms,
On postage stamps that are on their journey to foreign lands,
Or in the pages of my old diaries

What did I think I was going to be like?
What did I want?
Maybe that way I can help myself find
What I do want

I always wanted to be stronger
A force to be reckoned with
Instead I cringe whenever I am yelled at
And let others have their way

So maybe now is the time
To be the girl I always wanted to be
Because former me
Would want me to want to be herself

I pinned my hair in curls tonight
It took an hour or two
But when I wake and undo my work
I'm not dolled up for you

Because the blush on my cheeks
Is not made of powder
The pigment on my skin
Is composed of anger
And contempt for you
Where there used to be love
Is a constant fight
My heart is an open space
An area that I'm not sure
That I want you to occupy
Anymore

You pushed me past my pushing point,
I won't ever let you through
So now don't you see? Reality?
I'm dressed for me, not you.

I'm dating depression
He knocks on my door
Although he smiles for miles
I knows he hides more

Depression just loves me
He's been other places
He takes other forms
Same guy, but new faces

He sneaks up on me
With surprise in his eyes
Claiming he changed who he was
But I know he lies

People change too
Like the leaves in the fall
And as the foliage fades
My lover does call

"Love me like only you do"
"Need me because I need you"
"Protect me from what I can't help"
**"Save me, but from myself"

On opposite sides of a telephone line
Signals from satellites bounce between
The waves of silence that are plopped uneasily
Within our absent minded conversation

I breathe, hoping it is not too loud
A sigh, a release from this purgatory
But any microscopic sound or respiratory
Inspires him to question me

"What are you doing?" he asked halfheartedly
While I lay and watch my wall paint crack
As minutes tick by, sigh after sigh
Of not knowing which words to utter

So I break the silence finally
With a insincere and restless goodnight
Because this is how you end a fight
But I still hung on to silence until the line died

I thought about you today
I know it's not right, but you were in my mind
Swirling, encircling thoughts of the past
Wishing you were competing with us
In some absurd way
I missed you
It didn't feel complete
At that place, with those people, during our last year
I felt like you were missing something important by not being there
I remember feeling so dizzy
When we spoke there
Only a year ago
It felt so comforting that we were on good terms
And only a year ago
I wanted to be your friend
But somewhere inside of me, I always knew
That was a delusional dream, a futile attempt
"We can be friends" at departure always means
"I'd rather not talk to you, but only make awkward sideways glances at you and pretend you don't exist"

We both knew
Being friends
Was never possible
But perhaps you knew
Perhaps you read my poems
Before that moment
And knew how I felt about you
All along
And saw my furiously scribbling in my journal
*Maybe you knew I was writing about you

I spent my night with him tonight
Wrapped up in covers
Wrapped up in dreams
He consoled me of all of my troubles
And reminded me that life is not all as it seems

There was some magic tonight
He made me believe in love again
Like when we first were together
Staying out past 2 a.m.
Hiccuping from laughing so hard

The connection we had returned again
And He inspired me
Instead of you, to keep writing

The way he looked at me,
The way he held My hand,
The way he smiled that smile.

You are not my muse anymore
That's why I wanted to give up writing
Because everywhere I turned, you were waiting for me
In every blank Title (optional)
In any poem I read, I found you.

But the freeing thing I realized tonight
By lying in his arms
Is that poetry is what I make of it
I can read a poem about love
And it doesn't have to make me think of you
Because I have so many other wonderful people in my life
I can write about other things than heartbreak and memories
I can write of hope and happiness

So yes, you were the reason I started writing poetry
But that doesn't mean that you should be the reason I stop.

I think it's time to say goodbye
To Hello Poetry completely
It's made me laugh and made my cry
But it hurts me more, secretly

It's my 200th poem and it is the time
To stop writing to a void
To stop rereading poems of love
When I have another choice

My heart keeps hurting with every poem
That reminds me of you and I
So instead of reopening unhealing wounds
I decided to say goodbye

*Goodbye

Sometimes I see you guys together
And I'm happy for you two
I mean, it seems like she is lovely
And, it seems you're happy too

But if you are so happy
And appearances are true
Then why do you look so sad
Every time I look at you?

You didn't hurt me
You hurt her
So don't apologize to me

At least she is smart
She actually did it
This time

She isn't coming back
For real, to you

It's different than the other
Five or six attempts

The honeymoon phase was on
But she saw through it
And said goodbye

She meant it and she's gone
Like she ought to have been six years ago

Goodbye is freeing
Although it's painful
Goodbye is them
*Them is gone

I have come to a conclusion

You either care for me deeply or completely hate me

Because nothing else could ever explain

The damaged look

On your face when I walked by you tonight*

And just said "hi"

My best friend in third grade
Knew I liked this one boy
So we imagined ourselves in twelfth grade
At graduation night, throwing our caps in the air

She dared me to kiss him on the lips at that moment
In the very distant future
To declare my "like" for him after all that time
When we were about to say goodbye forever
Because to a third grader, graduation doesn't seem so final

But thinking about it now
The boy I liked in third grade
Is not the boy I love in twelfth
He wasn't even the boy I liked in fourth

Even several years ago
I imagined that if we never were together
I would find you on that night
Diploma in hand, blushing uncontrollably under my tassel
And kiss you
Tell you that I have loved you for as long as I can remember
And that I will love you until I forget myself entirely
But times changed again like they did in third grade
I am different than I was, but yet love the same

Graduation seemed to always be that time
Now or never, now or never, now or never
That if I were going to do something
Confess something to
Someone I never had the courage to love
It would be on that date
Because the next day
*We would both leave

I'm a paradox of desire
Just some tangle of prickly thorns
Push me, pull me in some direction
But know I never heed forewarns

I'm addicted to love
I crave the feeling
You give me

When you look my way
Or smile that smile
Oh my, those eyes!

Your essence is intangible
A jungle gym of emotions
Fill my chest when I'm near you

Today, like many days
My special friend in study hall
Asks me why I am not dating you

He tells me that when we broke up
It broke his heart
Because he loved us being together

So he recently told me
That while he knows
We are with other people

He has been secretly
Or not so secretly
Trying to get us back together

By telling each other
When we are near
In hopes that we will talk

Now, this is extremely embarrassing
Considering I am very awkward around you
And you don't want to see me anyway

But I put up with it
Because I love him
And I know you do too

He told me that he wants us to be together
Because he said he loves me
And he loves you too
Even though you are a "womanizer" who drives a gas guzzler

And he wants the two people
He loves
To love each other

But every time He says this
I have to remind him
That not everything is perfect

Like how he says sometimes Tesla cars catch on fire
Despite their fuel efficiency
And stylish appearance

And even though University of Kentucky
Has an amazing basketball team
They still have 92% coal emissions

I see them pass by
All the exits on the highway that could lead to you
I'm mentally driving myself to your house
At four in the morning
So I can crawl in your bed
And sleep until the sun peaks over the hills

So I can feel your warmth under the covers
And feel you breathing beside me
That way I can tell you when we wake
How proposing to take a break
Broke me

I could tell it in your eyes first
It was those eyes that said I did some thing
Something terribly wrong
Something I immediately regretted when it escaped from my lips
I said I wanted this weekend to think
As a break from our hectic week
And your eyes dropped
Because you knew
Not many couples come out of breaks alive
I should know, it happened to me too

But I said it, it came out
And I said how I felt the whole week
That we were flirting with the boundary of
Being in a relationship
That every day, I compared our relationship to being sick
How many times would we dry heave before throwing up?
And you were genuinely surprised
Because in your eyes, we were just getting our feelings out
So we could work through them

And in that moment, I knew
You inspire me
Like you say I inspire you
You inspire me to keep trying
To keep going
Because, like you say, a relationship requires work and sacrifice
"Love is not easy, but when I look into your eyes, it is all worth it"

And in the stupidest of moments
The ones where we are just goofing off
Or the ones where we are screaming at each other
Because I am not afraid to yell
You taught me to express how I feel
I can honestly say that you make me feel Like myself
I am not pretending to be another person around you
I can sing along to the radio in the car
And you will tell me that you love my voice
You cover me when I get cold
Because you legitimately care about me
You ask my opinion on things and love my mind
I can look at you and see why I am with you
Because we suit each other well
You are my best friend

The room is spinning
Why can't it just stand still?
For a simple moment
Can't we fixate on the fact
That we love each other
Rather than meaningless things in life?

She is captivating:
She is my pet,
She is my fire,
My little nymphet.

Annabel, dearest, of sea-word waves,
Of sandcastles torn down by hungry waters.
Even now, the scepter of my passion
Stands at attention with memory.

As Humbert ages, his desire stays
Grown ladies don’t suffice.
As he dreams of Annabel in sea-word waves,
Nymphets become his vice.

But I am no liar--I am no ******
Ladies and gentleman of the jury, be calm.
And recognize that Humbert’s eyes
See your every qualm.

Nevertheless, she is captivating:
She is my pet
She is my fire
My little nymphet.

Your love for me
Is hanging by
A fraying thread

We loved like we invented loving
Like I was the first girl to ever want to fall asleep
Smelling your shirt on my pillow
Like you were the first boy to ever
Want to hold my hand
We were insatiable and unstoppable
But then again, I guess we weren't
If we stopped eventually

I see my little brother experience middle school
And I can't help but think of you and me
How much I loved you then

He talks about clubs
And I see myself drawing in my club
Looking out the doorway to see you
Standing there, taking pictures of me for photography club

Oh how I loved you then
That sweet boy of --twelve, was it?--
It felt like we were so grown up and knew everything about life
We were ready for everything, it seemed

I remember praying every night in seventh grade
That you would like me
Because your love was something I had always wanted
More than anyone else's

I remember being in girl scouts
And not being able to talk to you because I was selling cookies
Only to look up, and there you were!
You made your dad drive all the way over to the far mall
To buy cookies from me, but told him you wanted to go to Chick Fil-A
I could hardly make change for two boxes, I was so enamored

I remember Skyping for six whole hours
While shaking secretly from my side of the camera
Wondering if you felt the same way about me
As I always had about you
Until you finally asked if I still felt the same
Of course I did, I always have

I remember being in the planetarium in eighth grade
Secretly holding your hand in the darkness
Feeling little shivers run up my arms
Every time you squeezed my fingers

I remember our first kiss
Stopping after at Lito's pizza
Those special memories
That belong only to us

To put it in perspective,
That is why it has been so hard
To let you go
Because I remember these things
And I flash back to us when he tells me about middle school,
It's hard to not fall in love with the idea of us all over again

So as I look at you now
Six years later, these memories come back
And that's why it's hard
To look at you
Because I could barely believe
The single thing I wanted to continue on forever
Ended

So how do you truly forget your first love?
If your love was true?

In that moment, I wish I had super powers
To be invisible
To fly far away
To run as fast as I could
To shape-shift into something, anything else
To avoid being seen
Because the super power
I need the most
Is the strength to face you

                                          STUPID                              GIRL  
                 ­              YOU                  JUST       WENT              RIGHT
                          BACK           ­                  TO                                  HIM
                       STUCK                          ON                                ­     HIM.
                         WITH                                  NO                         ­    WAITING.
                               HE                         ONLY                              CALLED
                        ­       YOU                             JUST                      CAME
                                  ­    NOW                YOU                           WILL
                                    FORGET                 ALL                THE
                                          ­ POWER      YOU                HAD
                               ­                   WHEN     YOU     WERE
                                                            ­    **alone

I love to hear your muffled voice
When you answer the phone
If I call you too late or early
And you are still bed

And I love the way you cover me up
If I fall asleep on the couch
Even if I don't look cold
Because you know don't want me to freeze

You are the ideal romantic
You take care of me
Not because you have to
But because you want to

You brush stray hairs off of my face
And tell me when there is something on my back
You are my best friend
You look out for me

You are always there
To lend an ear or a cuddle
Depending on the mood
But, nevertheless, always there

Sometimes I snap
If I have had a bad day
Even though it is not your fault
I should not take it out on you

I don't mean it
Not any of those times
Because, in reality
I want to take care of you too

You've said "No one treats me like you do"
But I still feel like I should treat you better
Because I know it's what you deserve
It's something I can give

I don't want to go over there
She is over there
That one that makes a draft
When she enters the room

Where do I sit if she sits on the couch?
Do I make small talk with her?
Do I even say hi?
Will she make a snarky comment at me?

I don't know why I don't like her
Probably because she doesn't like me
She gives me ***** looks
Whenever I say something she doesn't like

Sometimes I see the dark-haired ice queen melt
I see her change from a solid to a liquid
And drip off her exterior
I can see some warmth underneath

But just when I think it is springtime in her palace of snow
Punxsutawney Phil jumps out from his groundhog hole and says
"Six more weeks of winter!"
And we begin the cycle again

Who knows?
I could just be her cycle

Why is it so hard to say the truth?

We say thousand of words a day
But the ones that mean the most tend to be left unsaid
For the fear of hurting others' feelings
I know I am guilty, I am that one

I would hold it in, for years
Before saying what I truly felt
Or meant to say, as to not
Hurt the ones I care about

I want to say it to you
Somehow let what I feel
Just slip out, be acknowledged
Because I don't know how much longer it can be unsaid

The truth is not overrated
Especially when it burdens you
And weighs you down
All because you care too much

But why? Why do I care so much
Probably because I do not wish to disappoint
I simply want to evoke smiles, not frowns
But is a frown worth the truth?

For the truth will set you free

Too poor to afford it
But too rich to qualify

Your distance will fade you away completely*
Hologram Man, your time has come
Hologram Man, you won't leave neatly
But at least I know you aren't the one

I'm glad I didn't waste more time
Waiting for you to reappear
Hologram Man, you were never mine
Hologram Man, you'll disappear

Once I was naive and young
Ready to wait for you to change
Hologram Man, we both know that
You won't unless you accept the blame

Hologram Man, you are a user
Hologram Man, you are so vain
You want her, but you will lose her
Then you'll cry of selfish pain

I'm glad I didn't waste more time
Waiting for you to reappear
Hologram Man, you were never mine
Hologram Man, you'll disappear

And now she's your whole life?
And now she's your whole world?
I just can't believe the way you suddenly feel about her

Perhaps you should have been willing to change
Before she left
Maybe she would have felt more loved
If you would have shut off your play station
Put down your phone
(That was filled with other girls' pictures)
And sat down next to her
Looked in her blue eyes, that run in our family
And say "I love you, and I will do anything to make you happy"

But, of course, unromantic love
Is part of your red neck charm, isn't it?
Well, the closest thing you are to a charmer
Is a king cobra that will strangle you to death
If you don't play the flute right

You plan to live in your mom's house
Until she leaves for an old folk's home
You are such a loving son
And they always say
A man treats his woman how he treats his mom
And that couldn't be further from the truth

You are like a leech that ***** her emotional stamina
And her self esteem
Perhaps that's why she is self-conscious
And covers up her smile
Because you were the one that dimmed her sparkle
By saying "You spent all that time getting ready and you look like that?

And what am I supposed to do?
Comfort her and console her
And reassure her that not all men out there are like you

Oh, yes, you'll look back someday
At this moment that you are in
You'll wish you looked at her and said
"I should have loved you then"

Can you fix something
If it's already broken?

I always try to repair
What needs helped

While you
Simply let it go

I beat things to death
Trying to fix them
Maybe I just cause more damage
By trying to force them together
When maybe they were better off falling apart

You told me tonight
You were worried about me
Worried that I was depressed
Because you don't think
I'm happy anymore

How would I know?
What is depression?
Even if I knew
I wouldn't admit it
It would make me too sad

I don't prefer music of this generation
The kind that only talks about getting a girl home
Having one night of intense stranger-***
And then what?
What do you say when you are done?
How long do you hold her
Before your arm falls asleep and she almost kicks you off the bed?
Do you give her cab money in the morning?
Do you call her when she gets home?
Those are the problems that those songs don't address

Music used to mean so much more
It was the kind about real love
Real love that you lost
Maybe that's why I like it so much
Because I could listen to it
And actually relate
Instead of imagining myself at a club
With intense music
Where an insanely attractive, yet toxic man walks up to me
And asks if I want to go home with him
What would I say?
"Uh, sir, I can't go home with you until you tell me your credit score..."
Or "Let's make like a fetus and head out..."
No, I'm too socially awkward for this
I can't separate physical attraction and emotions
I'm not good at *** with strangers
Perhaps because I know the dangers of strangers
Or maybe because I know the potential dangers of ***

I listen to the seventies and eighties
That is the age of Billy Joel, ELO, and Fleetwood Mac
The ones that actually loved

I saw a shooting star tonight
And thought of wishing for you
When I looked over beside me
And saw him smiling my way

I thought about my life
In that split second that it passed
The tail burning brightly
In the dark night sky

And I wouldn't change a thing
Not a broken heart
Not a minute wasted
Not a moment regretted

Because I am happy
With how my life is
Just the way it is
So I closed my eyes tightly
Knowing already, I got my wish