A rush of blood to the head
The excitement of dread
Why
Do we yearn for the reasons we bled?

To be free from reality
Can't see your mortality
It's no surprise
The devil loves hospitality

Desperate eyes watch him slide through the door
Invite him in for reasons you choose to ignore
Let him tear up the carpet
The curtains
The floor

That was the last time

Every time
You swore

They say it's better for your health
To always be kind
To go through the day at a steady pace
And regulate your emotions

They say slow and steady wins the race
But they're just going through the motions
Running into oceans...
Drinking deadly potions...

High highs and low lows
My life never flows, never slows, sometimes blows
I'll never know
I'll always care

Like the turtle and the hare
It never seemed quite fair
That the fastest of us fall behind

I wish it could all rewind

A perspective that sticks is hard to find

Closing your eyes
While feeling your skin burn
You've come to despise
The lessons you can't learn

Silently sinking
Through an infinite space
Closing your eyes
As you come face to face

With the water that drowns you
Seeps through your hair
Open your eyes
And you breathe it like air

Paradoxical
Like this summer depression
My journal entries sound more like Confession
Than the answers to any philosophical question

All the same fears and tears
These past few years

How do I know my life wasn't left on repeat
Or pause
Living the effects so what's the cause?

i lied awake
in bed all night
and scratched my skin
until daylight

if i could just
pry open my chest
til my soul was free
and i could rest

then i would finally be able to sleep
with my spirit afoot
with it's own two feet

leave my limp being
for the morning to find
and let my soul
run free with it's kind

Will I be easier to love if there is less of me?