my mother always told me
i was a different kind of smart
the street kind
the deep kind
that saw the world as art

understanding
and perceptive
sharp and young and bold
determined
and protective
never doing what they're told

a wild spirit
an intellect
with too many modest bones
a beautiful
magnificent gem
hidden beneath stones

despite my tear-filled trouble
i try to flash a smile
and hope that when i get there
i'll stay there for a while

regret and sorrow fill my veins
my hands begin to shake
i look inside my blood shot eyes
my heart begins to ache

i don't know who is in the mirror
it surely can't be me
soon the image starts the blur
i can no longer see

now the tears keep falling
and they won't ever quit
so i stare into a strangers eyes
before i give the hit

now my mirror is shattered
but it matches my heart
i look down at the broken glass
and see some kind of art

i crawled up into my bed
and held my ****** fist
and thought of everything i hate
i made a whole long list

now here i lay
alone and sad
not really knowing why i'm here

and before i sleep
i feel it fall
one last
single
tear

they say
life's a rollercoaster
and it has it's ups and downs

but something is wrong with mine
it just keeps speeding
down
and down
always gaining speed
so i can't see what's around me
the faster it goes
the more feeling i lose
and everything is blurred
ive given up on trying to stop it
now i'm just waiting for it to crash

p i t t e r
               p a t t e r
                               f
                             a
                           l
                         l
                      s
the rain

drowning away all my pain

blurry music
fading smile

aching wrists
and blood stained tile

sadness has always been here
hiding somewhere down under
rooted deep within my ribcage
which cracked from all the thunder  

i felt it there when i was small
but didnt know what it meant
i never guessed
it'd turn into something
I'd so much resent

once the bones were broken
there was no holding back
the sadness came right through me
and waited to attack

it'd linger here
and linger there
always messing with my brain;
it made me anxious
made me scared
this sharp
conclusive pain

it told me this was the end
and there was nothing i could do
it fought my once so bright ambition
and turned it
shades
of blue