Now, when you realize I'm about to leave,
you accuse me of rush.
You make me feel selfish again
just for wanting to live my own life.

I'm not your priority.
Never was.
And I understand.
They really do need you
more than I do,
but it's still unfair.

You cannot expect me
to stay by your side forever,
in the middle of this mess,
begging for attention.
I'll still be your friend.
I'll still want to tell you
about every thing
that I see and learn.
I'll still be your sense
when you lose yours.
But, I'm sorry
I can't stay trapped here anymore.

And now you're living
your little life miles away from me
with a girl you just met a few
weeks ago.

Living a whole new love
which isn't comparable
to what we had.

Not comparable to any love.
And you know that.

And I know that someday
you will come back.
Telling me that we were perfect
and that you're sorry.

But than I will be living
my little life miles away from you.
With a boy I just met after all those
years, in which you weren't
by my side.

You arent afraid of the darkness because of demons and monsters out there.
More likely you are afraid of your own demons you have to face.
Cause in the end of the day you are all by your own. Darkness kicks in.
People disappear.
Objects disappear.
Your eyes get blind. Things get hardly to find. The vision you have in the morning gets blurry. The only thing that stays is you.
You and your own mind. After a long day with many attempts to escape, the darkness overtakes you.
Your problems and thoughts get clear cause there is nothing other left to focus on.
There is nothing other left for your senses to be seen or heared.
Cause in the night when youre laying all by yourself in your bed. You are confronted with your own inner demons.
Just yourself.
And somehow you manage to escape this demons night by night by falling in sleep. But in  very few nights your mind finally interrupts your sleep..

You work so hard
to make people
admire you,
respect you,
fear you.
But I can only feel pity.

You try so hard
to show how much
you don't care
but we all know the truth:
the ones who don't show it
are the ones that feel the most.

You scream your hatred
and you make sure
everyone knows
of your opinion and wisdom
about every existing topic.
And you talk louder than the others,
above their voices,
'cause you believe that
they have nothing important to say.

You create conflict with every one
that dares to think different than you
and you push away even the ones
that most love you.
What's the point?
You're trying so hard to be strond
and building walls and walls around you
but inside the fortress you're living in,
it's you who's hurting yourself.

I get it.
It's not your choice.
The bitterness in your life
made you like that.
But it was you
who decided to keep
all this grudge inside.
Now it'll **** you slowly.

You're sitting there
as if it was all okay
and you smile at me
as if it meant nothing,
while I try to hide
how much my hands are shaking
and how fast my heart is beating.

I shouldn't feel that way,
it shouldn't be so hard
to just say hello
and treat you with indifference.
You won't ever imagine
the thoughts that run through my brain,
the dreams I had with you
and how much I regret
not turning this real
when we had the chance.

I wish you didn't fit so well
into what I crave.
I wish everyone that I'm attracted to
didn't look so much like you.
I wish I hadn't been blind
and wasted all the chances.
And I'm so so sorry.

All I can do is accept
and hope that she makes you
as happy as you deserve.