You're sitting there
as if it was all okay
and you smile at me
as if it meant nothing,
while I try to hide
how much my hands are shaking
and how fast my heart is beating.

I shouldn't feel that way,
it shouldn't be so hard
to just say hello
and treat you with indifference.
You won't ever imagine
the thoughts that run through my brain,
the dreams I had with you
and how much I regret
not turning this real
when we had the chance.

I wish you didn't fit so well
into what I crave.
I wish everyone that I'm attracted to
didn't look so much like you.
I wish I hadn't been blind
and wasted all the chances.
And I'm so so sorry.

All I can do is accept
and hope that she makes you
as happy as you deserve.