I have this ache in my back, you see
and before I thought it was just bad posture
so I stood and sit up straight and held my head high.

But then the pain never receded,
I thought it mimics the curve of your smile,
the arches of your hands,
the ridges of your palms.

That's when I realized

I was falling for you
and it was not you
or my posture that's
affecting my back,

it was wings growing
to stop the fall.

And I took the flight.

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU HOW SCARED SHE IS. WHAT IF I TOLD YOU HOW SHE WATCHES THE WAY SHE WALKS, BECAUSE THE LAST TIME SHE FELL IN LOVE, SHE HIT THE GROUND. AND SHE WOULD OFFER HIM HER HEART BUT IT'S BEEN EATEN AT AND STORED IN A DOGGY BAG AROUND A CORNER WITHIN HER CHEST - AND SHE CANNOT HELP BUT ALWAYS FEEL LEFTOVER. WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT SHE'S SCARED OF FEELING.
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T FEEL HER BACK.

If *** is all you wanted, you could have gotten it from your hand.

I wish I was
something more than
what I dare to call
myself
because this body was
never hurt this much
because this mind was
never haunted this much
because those nightmares
once stopped when I
woke up
but since when I can recall
they last longer than
twenty four hours
and this is insane
am I this insane?
that doctor says I don't look that ill
the other says I should
go in the psych ward
the other says I'm in the control
while the other one says
the harm on my body means
I'm not the one in charge
any longer
am I insane yet?
I should call 911
but I'm afraid another doctor
will attempt to say what's
going on
inside myself
instead of asking me
what I'm feeling for real
or why these injuries are for
or why the empty stomach
keeps growling
won't you eat, my dear?
I say no
won't you take your meds, my dear?
I say why
won't you enjoy your life like a normal human being?
I ask why should I
since im in the border of sanity
way more on the side
of those ones
stuck between four walls
white bedsheets
and treated like kids
who forgot to take their medicines
at home
so now they need a special care
am I insane yet?
I wonder
but no one dares
to answer.