Hello new Friend
thats what you are
so nice to see you again
I must admit I have searched
high and low...

Must be you are so nice
must be so wise
you share my words
with others time after time ...

So I say smile and smile
for a long long mile
thank you for being a blessings
in my life..


In a  thousands times of sand
holding hearts sublime
letting me know you are
just fine...

Blessings to you dear Gautham

Debbie Brooks

do you want to know how does having feelings for you feel like? well baby, having feelings for you is like playing the piano for someone who can’t hear. having feelings for you is like that moment where you start to dance and the song ends. having feelings for you is like hitting repeat on my favorite song and forgetting the words every time it starts over. having feelings for you is like playing roulette with all the barrels loaded. having feelings for you is like having amnesia, waking up every day unable to remember why there’s a hole in my chest. having feelings for you was like finding out there’s no milk after i had already poured a bowl of cereal. having feelings for you is like drowning without the water. having feelings for you is like being locked in the dark while getting told to “look on the bright side”. having feelings for you is like knowing what a funeral feels like without ever going to one. having feelings for you was like being reminded of the first time i ever accidentally let go of a ballon as a child. having feelings for you is like unconsciously reaching to put my arm around a dead lover in my bed while asleep. having feelings for you was like spending years next to a hospital bed where you were in a coma you chose to stay asleep in.

Were riding through hills
Of golden and amber
I look to you and I am lost
You take my hand, as you always do
I won't take this for granted
I've wanted it for too long
I look to you and my eyes say
I am yours
She gives me that smile
The smile I look for each time
Our eyes meet

Before I was a poet who didn't know what he wanted to be
Lost in tragedy always being looked down upon by thee
I was never good enough no matter what I did
Always sitting in the darkest corner wondering why this had to be
Always crying becoming the pathetic boy they pushed upon me
But now that I think about it...
I should be laughing not crying
Thanking not dying
Smiling not pouting
I mean it's my birthday after all
I'm finally seventeen soon to be thirty
I don't care that I'm not the best at what I do
Or that i probably won't ever be
But one thing I promise to thee
All these years you were wrong about me
You don't know me
The obstacles I survived to get to where I am
The battles I fought losing parts of me
I would love to see how you survive my war
But until you fight it...
Don't do me
I don't care about your back story;
You sure as hell don't care about mine,
But you see...
To be or not to be
The thing is I am me,
And I am proud to be

I live in the mountains
Middle of no where
I'm all alone tonight
It don't seem fair
Yet I see the stars
Shining so **** bright
Every last little one
Giving off a speck of light
Each one a part of something greater
Each one a piece of what's real
I don't know what YOU are feeling
But that's how I wanna feel
Like I actually belong here
Like I'm not living for myself
Like there's some bigger out there
Like I'm as special as everyone else
I want my light to shine that bright
A smouldering sky for YOU to see
I just wish that someone out there
Was making a wish to have me

Perhaps I'm encased in a box
made out of two-way glass.
A biased one-way mirror...
Mutual vision doesn't meet nor pass.
When you look at me,
you only see,
yourself for all that you care...
Me? Just a faint suggestion that I'm even there.
   Maybe that's why...
      you ask about my life,
      about my strife.
      When I'm about to unload my
      head,
      I end up having to hear about yours
      instead.

Perhaps at times I travel around
in a bubble of frosted glass.
Only a blurred version of me...
Clumsily ploughing through the mass.
Incoherent, misunderstood and unclear.
Unintelligible muffles of hopes and fear.
   Maybe that's why...
      My words are just perceived as
      playful rhymes.
      Never keeping up with the times.
      Words regurgitated but no one
      realises what's coming undone...

Perhaps what I need
is an armour of bulletproof glass.
One of unique quality...
One ahead of its class.
You can do and say what you want.
A shell that would bear most of the brunt.
     I'll be impervious.
          I'll be protected.
               I can be indifferent.
                    I can be jaded.
   Maybe that's all I need...
           A shocking stunt.
                 A fresh perspective.
                      A new plan.
                           Revised objectives.
   Maybe a different name to start all
   over...
      To tie the binds and thoughts that
      scatter...
      Hoping of holding everything
      together...

Come morning, all will be
      forgotten...
Maybe I'd still be beaten.

   So for a chance that's,
     fat as hell
           or
     thin just a sliver...
Truth is of the three, I have neither...
So...

    *what I've said doesn't really matter.