Hard to feel homesick when you've never really felt at home

Waking up to see your face
Has to be my favorite part of the day.
I don't even care if you're a thousand miles away,
'Cause in that moment you are right next to me.
You make me the happiest i've ever been
You're the closet i've ever gotten to another human.
If i lost you,
It'd be like losing a part of me.
We're made for each other- you and me- its destiny.
Ive never felt a love this strong in my whole life,
If you ever got torn away from me,
just know i wouldn't give up without a fight.
You're worth the distance, its nothing compared to us.
What we have is special, no amount of miles could ever change that.
1030 miles away but i already feel so close.
It's not that i want you in my life, trust me, i do.
But it's so much more than that; i need you.
The way you make me feel is so un-describly surreal.
You make me feel loved, and wanted, and valued.
Seeing your face for only five minutes is more than enough to make me smile.
Hearing your voice is like listening to a beautiful melody,
Which was hand picked personally just for me to hear.
I hope you're here to stay,
'Cause babe i need you so.
If you ever need a place to stay,
You know right where to go.

I thought i was getting better,
But im so far from it.
Constantly having these thoughts running through my head.
I keep having this dream
of what i did when i used to be like this.
Im in the bathroom, where i go to hide from this family
This family that hates me, makes me feel pain
Im sitting on the toilet, ive got my special blue kit
Youd never guess thats where i keep all my secrets.
I pick the newest  blade, the one that'll do the most damage
I put it to my skin and quickly draw down on it
Red liquid comes out and makes me feel alive
So i do another one, another one, until i feel fine.
I wipe up the mess, throw the paper in the toilet, flush it all away so no one will ever find it.
Its not like they've noticed, let alone cared
Pretty much invisible, until someone gets mad
Then they come to me and let it all out
It doesnt phase me, or at least thats how i act
But they dont know what goes on behind the bathroom door,
Where i spill out my emotions and clean them off the floor.
So ill stick with being silent, invisible, unnoticed
Itll only make it easer when im no longer at their service

I guess its my turn to be hated by the one person i love without a warning or a given reason why.
I just dont know what i did,
All i was doing was telling the truth
Since when is that bad?
Maybe youre just mad because your little plan didnt go the way wanted.
Ive been in her shoes, i know exactly what you do.
You say youre leaving her just so i will get with you.
But not this time, i wont play your stupid little games
Cause all it leads to self destruction and heart break.
Ive been there once before and im never going back.
All i did was love you and hate myself,
You turned me into a brain washed little monster.
I love you, fool, but youre just not worth it.

I knew this was coming all along
I just didnt want to believe that youd be gone.
You told me to stay strong,
But youre the only thing that kept me fighting through it all.
I need you here now more than ever
But youre not coming back from down under.
You were always so happy, so full of life,
Nobody knew what was going on inside.
You just keep fighting, smiling through it all, always standing strong and tall.
You kept me sane in my weakest hours.
Oh if there was a god, why would he give you cancer?
Its just not fair, you never hurt anyone.
You were always there to help, give them the answers.
Noone knew you quite like i do, they had no idea youd be saying your last words soon.
You told me goodbye but i didnt want to believe it, i kept hoping that you would just be sleeping.
But now your gone and i know for sure,
You spoke your finale breaths and left this earth.
But ill keep my promise, ill stay true to you.
Because after everything youve been through, you just wanted me to see it through.
I will stay strong, ill be as happy as can be
But im only doing this for you bud, because you would do the same for me.