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 Apr 2017 Jawad
Lot
A void
Too fragile
Thus easily destroyed
Invisible glass
It surrounds us
Bulletproof truss
A harrowed scream
Loud it seems
Vibrating dream
Unheard theme
Mainstream screen
Disappearing sneer
Silent voiced
Fear
Just some recent musing on free speech.
 Apr 2017 Jawad
pH7
Untitled
 Apr 2017 Jawad
pH7
We are the winter
We are the spring, summer & fall
We nurture the will
to walk or talk,
climb or crawl.

-*humanity
 Apr 2017 Jawad
pH7
Earth day …
 Apr 2017 Jawad
pH7
forget all your selfish rights its about our world’s birthday

an organized campaign to remind you of public consciousness

lets think about our annual environmental concerns event, but just for one day

from grassroots to ancestral roots for our future youth

who needs clean air, water, energy anyway

Remember what you learned, now practice it in the next days

Earth is the real house, the greatest phenomena, in life’s miracle play

My birthright is give her my respects and repay

Not to turn it into mother nature’s biggest grave
 Apr 2017 Jawad
AnxiousOcean
Nothing's better
than the breeze
of night sky
as you gaze the stars
that give light
to the way of lost souls
together
with the brightest star
that light your way,
your bestfriend

But now she's gone
the night sky fell
your way's unlit
but hers has light
by the stars in the sky

Yet when I miss you,
I will always look up
in the night sky
and gaze at the stars
For I know
that they will guide you
and will lead you
to the right way,
to HIM

Farewell, my friend
I have a dog, she's more than a pet to me, She really is my bestfriend whom I shared my tears with. And today, April 24,2017, God took her. It is painful. But I guess, I'm used to losing someone. Yet I had the best memories with her. God Bless :)
 Apr 2017 Jawad
SG Holter
Sun not even threatening
To set on this
Spring
Evening, and through her
Window facing the
Backyard I only now realise
That the maple tree must
Have been
Blossoming for days.

I suppose I was too occupied
With nonsense to
Notice.
Let's go, she whispers.
Let's forget about holding
Back, being rational, being so
******* realistic. Leave with
Me and just love.

I might.

I might already
Have come.
 Apr 2017 Jawad
gd
Do you remember
when we carved our names into that old wooden desk
and you kissed me while I scraped at the surface
as if we were going to last like the promise I engraved into that table.

A shame we didn't.
And even more of a disappointment it was to not see it coming
and yet you latched onto every single neuron in my mind,
engraving your own initials with the same blue pen.

Numb as a needle,
I can still feel the letters scaring over.
They'll stay there forever,
even though you didn't.

gd
{dated: 05-05-2015}
 Apr 2017 Jawad
gd
Nomad
 Apr 2017 Jawad
gd
Sometimes I find myself searching
and searching
for pieces of myself that
I've never really wanted in the first place.

And I'll keep that pamphlet,
and I'll cherish that trinket,
and I'll store that bus ticket
just for safe keeping.

And I'll sleep for hours
to see if I can find
what I've lost
in my subconscious

but over
and over again
I find things I never wanted
in the first place

and I'll throw them into the sea
only to swim back to shore,
too late and too far gone
to realize I'm going to have to jump back in.

And maybe I'm talking in circles
and maybe I never really belonged
anywhere
other than where I sleep for the night

Or wherever I decided to
set foot to scavenge
for any remains of myself
that I took for granted.

Maybe a nomad
only finds peace
at the edge of losing everything.
Or maybe they never find peace at all.

gd
 Apr 2017 Jawad
gd
Fire & Ice.
 Apr 2017 Jawad
gd
How can the static that kept us together
feel so much like fire?
And why do its embers
make me feel so cold inside?

Your hands used to feel like home
but now they just feel like ice
pushing me farther down into the depths of the ocean
forcing my heart to sink down into my stomach.

And I should have seen it coming,
I should have seen right through you
the minute you walked into the room
and lit up the whole **** night.

So I shouldn’t be so surprised to find myself in darkness.
Blinded by your lies, unable to see,
feeling like I am fighting against gravity,
searching for my last thread of sanity.

We had the world in the palm of our hands,
and you sold it away for a bottle of wine
and another line
you were willing to cross.

So I’m in the mood for burning down some bridges.

I might just scatter the embers around the centre,
just to watch every single memory
burn from the inside out.
And everything you ever had will turn to ash.

Because that is how I feel
ever since you poured kerosene over my heart
and had the audacity to smile while you stepped all over it
and let the flames consume me.

You left me suffocating
in all the rubble.
You left me lost
in the forest fire you left behind.

So I am in the mood for burning down some bridges
because you left ours in ruins
and left me crawling through the debris
for all the remains you promised were worth saving.

I trusted you, and you set me on fire.

gd
{for S}
 Apr 2017 Jawad
Paige
"just breathe," they tell you. but no one understands that you can't breathe. your chest has an invisible weight stopping you from taking a breath. you try but it makes it harder. you close your eyes and see all of the thoughts that you hear in your head. you've been like this for so long. "don't worry," they say. but they don't understand that you can do nothing but worry. you can only drown in your own thoughts, unable to swim yourself to safety. your mind is cluttered with "what if's" and, "remember this?" no matter what you do, or how hard you try, you are trapped in this nightmare. the nightmare of your own thoughts. this is is anxiety.
p.m.b. 1:34 am
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