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Sometimes there is planks and trinkets
Of her that wash up on the shores of my mind.

A collection from the deep sea.

From an abandoned shipwreck
I rowed away from long ago
To be spared the sight of her ghost.
#olddrafts
Oh!
There she is!
I found you!

If I can't come closer
Then I'll stay still.
Hope to God
I don't have to watch you fly away
But if you do,
I will.
I'll always await your return.
I'm just a bird watcher and
You,
The rare bird.

I might dislike the distance but
I like you just as you are
And if I can't come closer,
I'll love you from afar.
#olddrafts
 Jun 2020 Jack Jenkins
Raven
I have nothing left to say...
My words have been unwritten.

Depression consumes me to the last bits of my insanity.
I live pretentiously like it doesn’t bother me, like it doesn’t hurt, or mean anything.
I live in pain, everyday.

It’s become apart of who I am, of who I am meant to be. Like living without this pain, would be worthless.
I let it consume me, control me.

My anxiety rushes through my veins and the voices and conversation won’t stop.
My mind never stops.
And when I’m alone, which is constantly, the thoughts eat me up alive like a rotting corpse is writhing inside of me.

I’ve learnt to get used to it, living with such intense feelings and a consumable mind never gets better, it only gets worse.
I’ve let the pain become me.
The person I hide.
It’s the only love I let myself embrace.
Pure madness.

I was born to be alone, living in lonesome misery for eternity.
Thoughts get dark, things get deep, and since I’m alone everyday, it gets even darker.

I hate people.
Stupid, fake, and you can’t trust any of them.
But sadly, I need them for mere distractions.
That’s all they are, temporary distractions.
They never stay, I don’t either.

I’ve learnt to keep my emotional distance.
Staying detached keeps you from getting hurt.
But what I long for, I will never find.

Born to be misunderstood and to die alone I shall....
This misery will be the death of me.
So it be.
 Jun 2020 Jack Jenkins
amanda
i’ll always matter to you
but i’ll never be your person

i’ll always just be a
significant
other

...
just a gentle
play on words
I have kissed boys

Girls

People in between

But lately I have been kissing bottles

Their lips are colder than yours

But slowly I have realized that the pounding headache when I wake is less hurtful than the shattering in my chest

Yet as these toxins rush through my veins

I can't help but miss the tracing of your fingers along my skin

Miss the numbness of the world when you lie with me

But when I wake I remember that a headache is treated with an aspirin

While heartache

Well if you have a cure for Heartache let me know
I'm just tired..
So so tired.

My soul is drenched with the heaviness awareness brings and things I can't unsee.

I just want to go home.

To my REAL home.

Where is the open armed loving embrace?
Where is the reward for continuing to stay alive?

I don't want to be here anymore.
I just want to do nothing.
To be nothing.

I want to quit. To stop.
I want it all to stop.
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