sparks flew as you stared at me, your eyes full of galaxies of shooting stars, and dreams of a love that so easily could have been, a beauty that i could barely contain in my heart as it burst in a slow motion shower of everything i am and was.
now that i'm alone, sitting in the backseat of a car where we once sat together, i miss you. realizing now that most of what you said to me was merely cruel deception,
there's this empty feeling in my bones that makes me so cold because i thought i was your everything.

but someone's nothing is someone elses' everything. and i was your nothing and i thought you were my everything
[i.k]

you know I'm starting to regret ever searching for galaxies within you because i know i messed up badly and all thats in you is stardust - and as merely a ghost of a girl, i know what an absolute fool I've been and was to fall in love with that tiny piece of stardust that you are. and now the clouds are growling at me, threatening to crumble to dust then open to the heavens
[i.k]

It doesn't matter and it never mattered
You're smiling into your mattress while you suffocate.
The sky was black and blue like bruises that night
All the doors were open but you didn't run away.


It's completely possible you're stuck here
Even though you've never stopped for a single day
If you took just the smallest of respites
It's not impossible that your mind would break.

Maybe in half a year everything will pay off
If it does, you'll be indifferent to it anyway.
Maybe you'll lie about lying about keeping promises
And allow yourself to come of age.

Turn over, inhale, there's blood on the ceiling
Count the popcorn kernels until your vision blurs and fades.
Two hours and you're back where you began
Two hours and you're forced awake, every single day.

No sadness, no contentment, no joy, no depression
Just calm, cool acceptance of bits of existence.
The epitaph will be angry, begging to know why you'd do this
And you'll give reasons rather sounding like excuses.