Some people walk into a room and light it up
She sets it on fire.

Is he really
the same guy,
i fell in love with
that one December?

Is he the same guy
who made me laugh,
made me happy,
every single day?

The same guy
who stayed up
with me for hours,
watching movies,
listening to music,
and who played
me, the most
beautiful music
on his guitar.

Is he the same guy?
Because i don't see it.

He once called me
beautiful,
now he doesn't
call me
at all.

I will dye my beloved brown hair blonde for you
Stand at the mirror -
I pour down the peroxide.
Knives grate my eyes and yet
they've never felt this alive
With my wild smile and
yellow hair. No longer a cub,
but a Lioness.

I will slit my wrists in the bath for you
In any case
these full veins will only take up space.
Fumes of pink against the ceramic varnish
I smile at the sight of your blood leaving me
and this bath has never felt so like home.

Sensual entrapment,
Heart, mind, soul, unifying in
Emotional *******.

I watch you breathe
as you sleep.
I'm afraid of what
you could mean
to me.

I study the stripes
on your shirt.
I think of all the
ways we'll flirt
and all the ways
we'll cry and I'll choke
with your hands
around my throat,
and Malboro Black
cigarette smoke
pouring down my
esophagus--
I wish I wasn't
so fond of us.

Love is for tin birds
in a flame cage.