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Isaac Mar 2018
What the **** did I get myself into
You and I came out of nowhere
Neither of us knows what we're doing
Neither of us knows how to do this

I don't know how to be the best I can be for you
I don't want to miss you as much as I do
And crave your touch as much as I do

I feel like I'm falling, right into your arms
I'm so scared, I don't want to be hurt again

It's so hard to trust this, it's so hard to let myself love
I'm scared of the distance, the others, losing you, losing myself

I'm scared of screaming into the night sky, screaming "why again"
And to feel that cold autumn wind burns my throat
And chap my cheeks as my tears run on

While I run further from myself
Scared to deal with the hurt of the others
Afraid of being with you
Afraid to not be
Isaac Apr 2019
Kyle,

       I should’ve seen it in the moments of awkward silence, I should have seen it in the short gaps between him and you. I wish I had ended this soon, and that I never wasted my time. You were the final straw that broke my back. Time and time again, I heard the same **** and even though I was no where near in love with you, it hurt me that you did it too. I should’ve seen it in the meaningless drunk ***, and your immaturity. I should’ve seen it when I was so drunk I could barely walk, and I begged you to take me to the bathroom to ***** for the first time ever, and you just kissed me and kept going. I should have known, and I’m so mad at myself for even involving myself with another. I can’t believe I let you think I loved you, because looking back I never felt a ******* thing for you. To me you were nothing but a good time and a distraction.  I rarely say this, but you really were a mistake. The wrong exit on my highway of life, and now I have to find my way back onto the freeway and fly down, way away from you. To you, I was a first, and a sobering reality of the train wreck you are. But guess you’re just gonna throw another one back and forget about me too.

Sincerely,
    Your loss
Isaac Mar 2019
do u ever
want to tell
someone
how proud u are
of their happiness

isn't that weird?
Isaac Mar 2019
You never loved me.
The way that I did you.
Don't blame it on the space
its all on you
I never asked for this
I saw the lies in your head
I let those worries wash away
in those deep blue eyes
I'm glad I stayed, I'm glad you left
4 hours gives me space to breathe
I hope you grew from it
I sure as hell did
A year sure does change a lot
sometimes it still hurts
that you never loved me
we both used each other
to feel whole
looking back I can see
what everyone said about us
that wasn't love, it was lust
I wrote this as a followup to Please Don't Ask Me Why. I realized over a year that what I thought was love wasn't real and that we were only really filling voids in each other
Isaac Mar 2018
Don’t ask me to say
Why it’s you

My brain is a firecracker
Sparking uncomfortably,
Overwhelmed with emotion

My heart jumps off a ledge
Only to be caught by you

Your warmth shines through me
And warms my frozen heart

You love me for my flaws
My shame, kinks, and the raw

You accept me for everything I truly am
And tell me I’m beautiful

I cry
My heart burns for you

For the first time in my life
I feel capable of being loved

Not forced or fought
But genuine and organic

I fear the future
But you make it possible

I would give anything to see your smile
Your eyes catch mine
Diamonds have nothing on you

You light me aflame
Every time you I hear you say my name

Your eyes are so bright
And so full of life

I didn’t choose you
You didn’t choose me

Simply put
We are meant to be
Isaac Mar 2019
subway doors, on the road
i am finally on my own
speeding through the tunnels,
in the flicker, i see your eyes
doors open, i step outside
i catch your hungry gaze
long for love, on the rocks
our glasses clink as we kiss
hazy suns, rainy days
as i watch you fade away
self destruct, over us
serve it cold, Cabernet

warming sun, spring day
how did i know you were the one?
city lights, night drive
windows down, my heart to play
bright lights, time to play
drinking margs before the club
one wrong move, something changed
melted ice, broken glass
one small change, anxiety
i can read you like a book
sun sets, dog days
as i watch you fade away

number 3, number 6
swipe to fill the nights away
flowers bloom, and then they die
please don't pick the next one too
summer grey, 3:00 am
can't wash away your hands on me
I can't escape reality
broken clocks, start anew

subway doors, winter blue
oh so many "i love you"'s
red sunrise, set me on fire
city lights and purple hues
This poem specifically deals with my healing through many different relationships that spanned 1.5 years of my life
Isaac Mar 2019
It's kind of
crazy how
one moment i'm strong alone
and how u crept in

u made ur way in
and from the moment
we first met in person
i knew

im too scared to say
u are my one
when deep down i know
its the truth

its not a feeling of firey passion
its not a relationship of need and want
but of genuine, dare i say
love

i see ur ugly,
and call u beautiful
u see me flaws,
and tell me i'm perfect

sometimes i find myself
crying
from pure happiness
that we found each other
Isaac Mar 2019
what if
all those
months ago
in the summer sweat
i had surrendered
and ended it all
and never became
who i am today.
what if
i never sparked
the hope
the joy
the love
in the lives
friends, family
and instead
dumped my misery on them
as a final, grandiose "*******"
complete with black lipstick.
what if
i had never met my one
and felt his warm embrace
at the top of the concrete mountain
with his hand around me
as the wind whipped through our hair
what if
my family had to hear the news
that the black sheep
faded into oblivion
what if ...

— The End —