what if
all those
months ago
in the summer sweat
i had surrendered
and ended it all
and never became
who i am today.
what if
i never sparked
the hope
the joy
the love
in the lives
friends, family
and instead
dumped my misery on them
as a final, grandiose "*******"
complete with black lipstick.
what if
i had never met my one
and felt his warm embrace
at the top of the concrete mountain
with his hand around me
as the wind whipped through our hair
what if
my family had to hear the news
that the black sheep
faded into oblivion
what if ...