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A poem, a poem I've got to write.
But nothing seems to come tonight.
I guess I'm just not very bright
When it comes to writing poems.

I crumple paper sheet on sheet.
I think of deadlines I'm to meet.
I haven't time to sleep or eat;
I've GOT to write a poem!

The time ticks on --it's two o'clock
Our light's the last one on the block.
Perhaps if I could take walk
I could better write a poem.

Then suddenly I get a thought--
I put it down to the very last dot…
And then I think, "It's not so hot."
Why CAN'T I write a poem?

But then I say, "'Twil have to do."
The morn is come; the night is through.
I'm tired but proud, I can tell you,
'Cause I just wrote a poem.
                        ^^^
I wrote this in the 8th grade.  I only got a B because it wasn't 'serious' enough.
I want to show you all the ways
In which you mean to me,
And I want to show you all that
You've done to heal me,
But I'm still scarred and bruised,
I'm still a little less
Than I guess
I could be.

And it's hard for me
To open up
To anyone
I don't know how to explain
The dreadful details
Which explain
Why certain things set me off
Why I shiver and I shake
Why I seem so defeated.

I'll tell you little bits
So it makes sense
But I'm terrified
If I tell you anything more
Than the little you know
That maybe you'll think of me
A little less
Than you did before.

I want to show you
How much you mean to me,
But I can't love you properly,
Until I learn to love me,
And part of that
Is letting you love me too.
It astounds me
The way it sounds to me
When you almost-bitterly laugh,
Like it's so ridiculous and you're not quite
Getting the point or the question,
But you laugh anyway,
Because it's obvious to you when you explain
"I brag about you."
Or
"Because I love you."

And there's an edge to your voice,
But it's almost delightful,
It's a type of sharp warmth,
A type of stinging comfort.

It astounds me
The way it sounds to me,
When your voice is loving and gentle,
When you're understanding and kind.

And it's astounding
That you found me,
Whistling and singing and humming,
Amid the ashen trees and soot-stained grasses.

And among ever light step you took towards me
I would flit and fly away,
Leaving a trail of violet and daffodil petals in my wake.
But you perched in my tree,
And I buzzed and hummed along your trail to me,
And upon finding me and the burning embers
Of the fires I have a tendency to ignite,
You captured the remains of my heart
That you didn't already have,
And when I took to the sky,
You followed suit,
With a flight pattern a little more sensible,
A little more practiced than mine.
As though you were much more prepared
For the oncoming tidal waves of feelings,
Than I was for the familiarity of them.
We were two kids just trying to get out,
nothing was what it seemed.
In all my dreams,
You were that singular constant
or as it turns out, that constant variable.
Your love was beautiful and distant;
But the other dreams meant nothing
if I couldn't have you.
For I am nothing without you.
Привет, привет.
Скажи мне кто твой любимый!

Everything else that I want,
I have.
They all think I have it all,
Tell me that they think I'm cool.
The pain I carry with me.
The emptiness that is slowly becoming a part of me.
The hole only you can fill.
How we used to laugh that your dad chose a German male name for you.
Где ты моё сердце?
Я живу, чтобы написать
I'm a lunatic,
Driven mad by the phases of the moon.
As the moon grows to full
I find myself manic,
As it grows to new,
I find myself becoming dysphoric.

I can feel facade
Slipping
I can feel the veil
Ripping

They say to fear those whose eyes
Grow dark like pools of midnight,
And to cower from those
Who have no fear for fire.

Understand my midnight eyes
Have never once feared a flame.

And though it was a fumble of my tongue,
I once told a priest during confession,
"Forgive me father, for I am sin."
And never have accidental words been so true.

Drive me insane by the moonlight,
And I'll love and live in eternal night.
I don't even get it.
I laugh a lot,
I cry a lot,
And I yell a lot.

But I'm okay.

I don't sleep as much as I should,
And I don't eat as often as I probably should.
And I'm not great at offering up information.

But if you can handle that,
If you can handle me,
I see no reason as to why
We should not try.

Because I love you the way cats love sunbathing,
And I'll reach for you the way flowers reach for the sky.
And I love you the way the moon loves the tides,
And I'll search for you the way we search for stars.
Four days until I see you, Bluebird!
Maybe I'm not everything you wanted me to be,
Maybe I'm not what you thought I was.
Preconceptions ruin these type of things.

And I'm not asking
Anybody to be perfect,
No, see, that takes the fun out of these things.

But I miss you and your smile,
So please, sit and talk with me for awhile.

My insomnia devours me whole,
And I float in the abyss of
"Why the hell?"
For eternity--
Or until morning comes,
Or whichever so happens to come first.

And when I interact,
There are shackles chained to my wrists
And my ankles,
And they won't be removed
Until I kiss you
Again.

I feel too deeply
And while they can be aggravating,
I also love with all that I am
Or more.
Six days? Five days? I can't count, I dunno. I miss you, Bluebird!
I am numb with morphine
and the shadows are moving in from the edges
like ghosts awaiting my final slumber
but the mind
in its final stages
in its final pulse of energy
begs to go back
to the night I paused
when you pleaded for clarity
where our lives were headed
did I love you
and I refused to crumble under your tears

I lost you somewhere between blind cowardice
and my detached heart
all the while searching for a reason
not to love you as I did

the thought of you could come at any moment
and stayed with me as clearly as
this final vision I hold now
what a fool I was
what a pitiful fool
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