a chubby-cheeked,
golden-haired,
freckled-faced,
green-eyed
little boy
who didn't know how good he had it

a golden-haired,
freckled-faced,
green-eyed
little boy
who had to grow up too fast

a freckled-faced,
green-eyed
little boy
who thought he was invincible

a green-eyed
little boy
who was never quite good enough

a black-eyed
demon
who used to be the great dean Winchester

a brown-haired
moose-like
glazed-eyed
broken boy
who just wants his brother back  

a raven-haired
broken-winged
blued-eyed
angel
who just wants their pain to stop

its funny how some see you as a simple flame and some see you as a fire but i never saw you as fire or just some simple flame
just light,
warmth,
a safe harbor,
like cozy blankets in winter
and movies indoors when it rains,
or getting milk when were empty and you don't want to get out of bed

some say that worshiping someone is that you adore them,you openly talk about them all the time,almost like an obsession and utter devotion to the person
but i don't believe its so obvious
its more like a flicker of your eyes
darting back and forth when their not looking
its more shy smiles when bringing you coffee in the morning when they know your still half asleep
its those moments when you realize worshiping someone isn't always dead simple its full of little debates with yourself and acts of kindness just because it feels right and a little part of you wants them to catch on to your little game
wither you know you like them or not
so i guess you could say i worship you
but not in the most easily perceived way
its the little gestures i do that i wished you would notice.

if i followed that path of destruction would the dark swallow me whole or would your light be enough to guide the way past all the war of reality.

i kept my coat in her room and my pop tarts in her cupboard
i left my shoes by her bedroom door
and our favorite book was on her floor
the movies we had watched were on the bed
and the music we danced to last night at like quarter past ten
my hairbrush lived inside that mirrored room
and we were in love were we really that doomed?
i took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen
her smile was superb did i mention ?
i couldn't catch my breath as i stared at her just leaning so casually there
"hey whats up bear ? "
i smiled nervously and scuffed my socks against the wood
i bent down on one knee and looked up her eyes were sparkling with tears
i took out the ring that was placed my pocket
" i want to hold you for the rest of my years"
"will you marry me ?" the words shook from my mouth
she pulled me up and started crying
"yes"

' for what it's worth i would give anything not to have to do this '
that what he spoke to me his eyes shining in that moonlight
he folded the coat and handed it to me
my coat
he kept it after all this time
it smelled like him like cinnamon,vanilla,leather,gas,beer and gun powder everything that was now going to fade away as he did
i saw it
that little flash of regret set in his face hesitation
almost
i saw the deep sadness in his eyes as he slowly blinked that mesmerizing beauty that shone through his broken mask he wore everyday trying to keep everyone away
but me
i never listened
oh no i never do
i didn't stay away i couldn't bear it he was never broken in my eyes he was him he was my rope that i gripped onto tight but now my  hands are so ****** and sore but was worth it every second
but he turned around in his biker boots and walked to his car his back was slouching and he was quivering slightly
'turn around please that's all i need' i whispered he drove away i stood there watching him drive away leaving all our memories for me to deal with
his car stopped and turned around leaving dust behind him  he jumps out and swung the door open
' get in angel'

how is it you wanted to become so invisible
little miss popular with her flashy car and makeup
you wanted it
you wanted to get away
you hid
you were comforted
and praised

i just wanted to be noticed
by anyone in this sea of people
i needed it
i was deprived from it
i jumped
i was noticed

I don't really know what love even is and maybe I never will
All I know is that there are some smiles you never get tired of seeing
and some hands you never want to let go of
and some absences that hurt too much to ignore
but you walked away and that hurt but i knew it would happen in the end
but i cant chase after you i wouldn't dare so until you see what i was with you goodbye
'my friend'

he was taught to be a good soldier and nothing else
he was 'daddy's blunt little instrument'  
but me i was destined to be a rebel
i was " daddy's little trickster  "
so you see
i took his broken pieces and some needle and thread and i put him back together again he maybe jagged and a little rough around the edges but that broken boy who he used to be is now the strongest man you'll ever meet

you drink a little too much ...
and try a little too hard ...
and you go home to a cold bed
and think 'that was fine'
but you are so brave ...
and so quiet
i forget
your suffering

don't try and 'fix me'
I'm not broken
I don't care what you see
you are you
and i am me

brave little Cas gave up it all,
but then poor little Cas had a great fall,
and all of Dean's prayers,
couldn't even begin,
to put his broken angel
back together again

where'd you get those beautiful eyes ?
my mother
and where'd you get those lips ?
my mother
and the loneliness ?
my mother
and the broken heart ?
my mother
and what about the absence, where'd you get that ?
my father

he says hes just the moon
a faded light in the night sky
yet it was his light that saved me
when the darkness threatened to swallow me whole
but what do i know
I'm just a star
a little half flickering light
compared to the moon and its shine

when two souls fall in love there is nothing more sweeter than the sound of the others voice saying your name and nothing can compare to their smile under those mid morning sunlight rays
their presence is felt through a held hand,
a smile heard in their voice
even through simple touches as brushing a stray hair back behind your ear
you see souls don't have calendars or clocks nor do they have any perception of time or distance
they only know it feels right to be with the other one
you see this is why we miss someone so much when we lose them even temporarily because its not our hearts or brain missing them its our souls they feel the absence of someone important they don't realize its only temporary

you like pizza
i like pizza
I'm bad at poetry
kiss me

Sam

i miss your voice its so simple
i have all these voices in my head
but yours is the only one,
i cant live without
and the truth is i don't want to try
so please come back to me
before i loose my mind

~Gabriel

some say i fell from grace,
they were being kind
i didn't fall,
oh no
i dove,
head first into humanity
without a second thought
because somethings you fall for,
but other things you need to dive for without thinking
to truly notice the difference it makes
that's why i dove
falling means i expected it,
i had done something for me to fall
but i never expected you,and your soul
some people say you have ruined me
they have no idea
i say you have saved me from all that despair

~castiel

to the righteous man ,

tell me, broken boy , warrior , hunter
does he look like a savior ?
does he look like Your savior ?

you call him friend , brother , family
only as a last resort do you call him
an angel.

so tell me , when you see his face , his smile
what does he look like ?

love?
hope?
shelter?
warmth?

or do you see his halo
reflected in the light of  his eyes
and in the feathers of his wings ?

i only ask because i am curious of
what a faithless man sees,
when confronted with the face
of God ?

i mean after all,
you do pray to him don't you ?

you used to be so afraid of the dark
terrified, trembling,scared
so dad gave you that gun
but you were so young
and i took it away from you
because only i could ever protect you
from what lurks and waits in those shadows and darkness
but now you're gone
you left
you walked towards the darkness
you're not scared
you don't want to be scared
but I'm so very afraid
not of the darkness but for you
i miss protecting you to be honest
but now you're gone
no one can protect me
i am not afraid of the darkness
little brother
i am afraid that there will be nothing
in that cold darkness made of shadows
I'm afraid
that you wont be there
that i will walk into the shadows just as you did
but you wont be there to welcome me
and you were already gone
you left without that gun with out me
you left
and that my little brother is what I'm afraid of

~ dean winchester

Castiel
the angel who fell for humanity

Gabriel
the angel who just wanted peace

Lucifer
the angel who was betrayed and cast out

Gadreel
the angel who was blamed for it

Anna
the angel who just wanted to feel something

Micheal
the angel who just wanted to be a good soldier

Balthazar
the angel who just simply hated the titanic

i waited for a savior
but all i saw was him

i waited for my soul
but he was standing there instead

i waited for the pain to fade
but he was there arms open for me

i waited for time to rewind
but he dragged me forward

i waited for all the blood to ruin me
but he was there again yelling out for me

i waited for the depression to drain me
but he was there to comfort me

i waited for so long for time to rewrite its self to heal me to fix me i wanted something else every time no matter how selfish that might sound how cruel that is to say but back then i didn't see that i didn't need some god to save me all i needed was him and he knew it i just couldn't see that everything i needed was right their in front of me

i sought my soul
but my soul i could not see
i sought my god
but my god excluded me
i sought my brother
and i found all three
he has always been here waiting
with open arms just for me
he is my big brother dean
and i thank him for always protecting me

~ Sam Winchester

sorrow found me when i was young it stood over me in my crib, as the fire burned , as dad shouted and dean carried me out of that house, as i cried for dean when dad left us alone, as i begged dean for lucky charms instead of beans

sorrow waited for me as i grew up he watched over me like a guardian angel little did i know that the shred of doubt i had in my mind was only going to grow as he watched me carve my name with dean in the impala, as i watched dean die over and over, through every demon i killed , every monster i slaughtered , every mistake i made and every slip up

then sorrow won he took me at last using Lucifer as a distraction as he wiggled into my brain and fed on all my thoughts until i was nothing no that's not true i was something, i was ruined, i was empty ,i was nothing but sorrow and despair and the worst part of that is i knew it was there all along shadowing me hunting me like i do monsters waiting for me to give up fighting against it

sam winchester

a chubby-cheeked,
golden-haired,
freckled-faced,
green-eyed
little boy
who didn't know how good he had it

a golden-haired,
freckled-faced,
green-eyed
little boy
who had to grow up too fast

a freckled-faced,
green-eyed
little boy
who thought he was invincible

a green-eyed
little boy
who was never quite good enough

a black-eyed
demon
who used to be the great dean Winchester

a brown-haired
moose-like
glazed-eyed
broken boy
who just wants his brother back  

a raven-haired
broken-winged
blued-eyed
angel
who just wants their pain to stop

deans

cas … i don’t know any fancy language to say this is in and we all know i didn’t prepare for this so here goes cas you saved me multiple times you’ve had my back through everything I’ve done and every plan I’ve had even the stupid reckless ones and well we know that’s the only ones i have you hugged me and held my hand when i need support when i needed someone to be there you were always there you healed me every time i got hurt even if it was just a scratch and trust me most of the time it was only a scratch you fought for me and with me against everything we’ve faced including myself and you protected me even when i thought i didn’t deserve it but castiel i fell in love before all these things happened it was the day i first met you you looked into my eyes with those supernaturally blue eyes and i was yours… and that was very chick flick but you cas i want to be chick flick with you for the rest of my life i love you more than pie more than beer i love you castiel my angel

castiels

wherever you go i will follow you hell,heaven,purgatory till death do us not part i will follow you through the veil
you are my righteous man and i’m your angel
i will be with you through your darkest times till the nightmares disappear and the dreams finally begin
i gripped you tight and i will forever be there to fight for you and with you until all the angels fall and chuck returns even then my Winchester i will be by your side you are the non nonnegotiable part of my life i love you forever

a wilted rose
two dried ponds
a noble peacemaker
a lost captain
a unspoken song
a single soldier Jones
two smiths of no relation
a single Oswald the mysterious nanny
i suppose in someway they break my heart even with two hearts i can't bear to say " i have to leave you " as the pain wont stop if i stand still so i move forward never stopping hoping i can save people too make up for the ones I've lost

my silence is just another scream for help
" FIX ME !! "

just some cut
just some scratch
"whats that mark ? "
" it was just my cat "

just an excuse
just another lie
" whats with all the bracelets ?"
" just a fashion thing why ? "

just a tear
just a scream
" were you crying ?"
" i just had a bad dream "

but its not just a cut or a tear or a lie
its always 'just one more'
until I'm not there anymore

i feel
the
worst
when
im
alone
thats
when
the
monsters
in my
head
say
hello

ill be there till starts don't shine
till the heavens burst
and the words don't rhyme
and i know when i die
you'll be on my mind

one of my brothers is careful no matter what,

the other one acts like hes against a clock.

one of my brothers is drowning in *****,

he believes he has nothing to loose.

one of my brother loves to read,

i told him that he should lead.

one of my brothers believe our story has no end,

the other one believes it will change us till we bend.

one of my brothers acts like i’m still ten,

the other one used to tuck me into bed.

one of my brothers gave me a knife,

the other one tried to shield me from this life.

one of my brothers is in love with an angel,

the other one can see it from every angle.

one of my brothers has a strong disguise,

the other one thinks he shouldn’t be alive.

one of my brothers gave me a gun,

the other one wishes i didn’t have to hunt.

one of my brothers taught me how to fight,

the other one sang me too sleep at night.

one of my brothers raised me my whole life,

the other one taught me to read and write.

one of my brothers says ‘*******’,

the other one says ‘so get this’.

me and my brothers our closer than one’

so when our time is finally done.

i hope people remember me,

as well as my heroes Sam and Dean.

i never believed in angels
and this was plain to see

not even when one flew down

to hell and set me free

this angel spoke my name

and told me heavens plan

in order to save the world

they’ll need the righteous man

i cried “it isn’t me”

that i didn’t know what to do

then the angel took my hand

and said “i have faith in you “

“twas he who showed me how to fulfill my destiny”

i never believed in angels

until an angel believed in me

me and my brothers our closer than one’

so when our time is finally done.

i hope people remember me,

as well as my heroes Sam and Dean

but i cant forget these words in my head

these words i wish i could forget instead

something Crowley whispered to me

that we are the Winchesters the broken three

we are brothers ...
we are brothers to the last fight
we are brothers to the last enemy
we are brothers to the last angel
we are brothers to the last hour
we are brothers to the last tear
we are brothers to the last bullet
we are brothers to the last fear
we are brothers to the last breath
we are brothers to the last demon
we are brothers to the last hope
we are brothers to the last ‘ goodbye ’
we are brothers to the last ‘ stay with me ’
we are brothers to the last broken bone
we are brothers to the last slashed tire
we are brothers to the last ‘ i wont leave you alone ‘  
we are brothers to the last shattered bottle that lay by you on the ground
we are brother to last possible moment together
and the last drop of blood on the ground
we’ve been through hell and back
even to heaven once or twice
our hands have been blue,black and bound  
and we’ve been chased by all the hell hounds
we are brothers that’s for sure our love has come before all
and when you die and death takes your final breath
i will stand by your grave one tear slipping down my face
and i will softly say ‘ you were the best brother i ever had and a even better dad’

~ sam winchester