I knew it was time to say goodbye
So I did
We kissed one last bittersweet kiss
The sun set
I love you, so I'm letting go
Yet it hurts
To see you moving on, being okay
I'm still hurting
I know it's incredibly selfish to feel
But I do
In all my humanness and vulnerability
To let go
I'm ripping the other half of me off
It's hell
I pray it gets better and that someday
It's okay

You have touched every piece of my life
I smell you on my sheets, my clothes
Your face plastered on my walls
You've stolen my sleep and dreams
There's no escaping you
Everything reminds me
You, you, you
I wish I could breathe for a second
I wish I could forget for a moment
The pain is suffocating
I feel like an addict in rehab
but I feel no rehabilitation
Only pain resurfacing
Over and over and over
I wish I could scrub myself clean of you
You're deep in my bones
You've grasped my heart beat
You're snuggled up into my soul
Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere
I don't know what's heavier
Your place in my memory
Or your absence

I hope my tears water the sadness planted in my heart, so someday flowers grow again

When 12am knocks, I answer
There is no sleep
Only constant reminders
There are no doors to hide behind
The nighttime brings silence
Silence lets a loud mind roar
To the darkest corners
Only there's no where to hide
No distractions
It hits me like a wall
Insurmountable
When 12am calls, I answer

What's your darkest demon
or deepest secret?
Who would forgive you?
Who would love you nonetheless?
Try finding a friend who you can ignore
for days, months on end
that will pick right back up with you
If you can't think of one I can tell you one
One who loves
One who forgives
You can meet Him anytime
Just bow your head
and hit your knees
He'll meet you right there

How can I make a change in this world
if I have not yet seen it?
How can I see the change that needs to be made in this world if I have not yet traveled it?

I've never written poetry to be liked
or even understood
I just want to reach someone,
touch someone
in a way my hands never could
I just want to be truthful and authentic
to my soul and to you
I want you to see the complexities
so I know those who stick
are the ones willing to see
my words, my meaning and my brokenness

I want to kiss each inch of you,
especially the places you do not love
I want to show you the love
you do not give yourself

I don't need you to fix anything
I just want you to listen
and to know I'm not alone
To feel your arms around me
I just want you to be there
That is enough

I fall in love with people
and their ability to be vulnerable
because it takes courage
to be real, human
in a world full of photo copies
To come across something
genuine or authentic
is a rarity
and I find myself loving
and admiring that

Where you invest your love, you invest your life.

We explore the world searching for who we are, but that answer is already inside of ourselves.

The nights are made for thinkers, who need a quiet space for a loud mind.

You pluck at my heart like strings and make music of love.

I wish you could lift me up out of this place
We would fly to paradise
and dip our toes into crystal blue waters
We'd swim with colorful schools of fish
We'd watch a sunset in every city
Then we'd star gaze in the country
I wish we could waltz out of here
Unseen, unheard
I need to escape this black and white
I need to see color again
My eyes crave the sights unseen
My ears crave the music unheard
My body craves the adventure
My heart craves it with you
So lift me up, up and away
From this place
To a home far away
Where the city lights gleam
And the colors are vivid
All will be made new

Your fate isn't in the stars
dancing in galaxies
your destiny is none
you don't move with the wind
you don't get luck
or what you deserve
you get life
you make your life
you're dealt your hand
you make your best play
sometimes all you can do is put on your best poker face

Despite what they scream at you
and blast through media
It is no crime to love yourself
There's no shame in admiring
each freckle, each inch of your body
You're handcrafted
Special made
One of a kind
Give your mind the peace it deserves
The care your body needs
You're beautiful beyond measures
In ways no scale could measure
Please, not for me, for you
**** the world and love yourself

The most beautiful art was created by pain. It is our most vulnerable moments we are most susceptible to brilliancy. While you're in pain to the point it is unbearable, make art. Your agony will show between brush strokes and diction of your poetry. The hurt you've felt will sculpt beneath your touch. Pain is beautiful because it is the center of humanity. Without pain we couldn't understand happiness.

If you're looking for the kind of art that's beautiful, leave
If you're looking for someone who will always have themselves together, leave
If you're looking for superficial things, leave
If you're looking for a shallow pond to quench your thirst, leave
Here you will find messy, art
The kind of something that makes you feel
The kind that's strung apart and spontaneous
If you're looking for depths of passion and ambition
The kind of person who will love you until the fire rolls out of their eyes
Stay, please stay

and just like that another flower plucked from the garden
sad to see you go
but you were chained
to lose you is to free you
now you fly high
the heavens opened their arms wide
you're home

I'm a wise old soul
with a young heart
and a dose of teen angst
this equation is contradictory
and a scary contemplation of life

Jealousy and loneliness go hand in hand in some ways. You begin to fall to the outside whether those around you intentionally push you away or they fade away like waves in the ocean. But sometime or another you reside on an island alone. Which is tranquil, but lonely. The loneliness begins to nip at you as the cold night as arrives. You see the lights in the distance. You are so isolated, separated by a chasm of darkness and cold water. No bridge could ever reconnect that that has been broken. Do you dare swim? Do they want you back?