Its a minute past midnight My thoughts won't let me sleep Memories are haunting me I think of the last time I saw you
The pipes in my eyes burst Impure water is released Salty drops that carry untold pain From the eyes to my soul
I never should have let you go The walls of my life are a prison cell now I watch as reality slices me Sadness swallows me Truth digest me and Regrets defecate me
I close my eyes in the hopes of not waking up in the morning
Oh you silly fool, thinking that love could save you from despair, from darkness. You see I am the one that controls you, You silly fool, Thinking you could escape me, my emotions bind you, my power will rule you, There is no way out, For I am *eternal
I can't let myself think about you anymore Or your hands Or where you put your hands Or the way it felt when you put your hands on me Or the gentle sighs I exhaled because it felt so good Oops I'm thinking about how it felt And That's Not Allowed I can't think about that day at the amusement park Or us getting lost Or why we got lost Because I put the map in my back pocket And told you if you wanted it you had to get it I can't think about the photo booth there Or the reason it took us twenty minutes to take one picture Such a bad picture of such a good day Oops I'm thinking about it again And That's Not Allowed I can't think about the car ride home I can't think about when we stopped for dinner and your parents went inside to order We stayed in the car I can't think about that I can't think about the countless movies we pretended to watch while our eyes were too busy getting lost in the moment Or how it felt to have your lips pressed against my neck The stubble on your chin tickled in a good way Your neck tasted good I hope mine did I can't think about you telling me to be careful Don't leave a mark And me ignoring you I wanted to leave a mark I wanted a piece of myself with you I can't think about the long hugs when your hands wandered down from my waist to my hips And sometimes (every time) even farther Or the way you pulled me closer And closer And c l o s e r Until I could feel you Really feel you For the first time I can't think about the first time I fell asleep on you You were explaining the origin of your last name Your stupid last name that I thought would be mine someday Oops I'm thinking about it And That's Not Allowed I remember where I was sitting when you told me you liked me I remember what I was wearing when you said I was your favorite I remember it But I'm not allowed to think about it I can't think about the way you smelled-- Like sweat and febreeze and something spicy I could never place Or how soft your hair was Or how rough your hands were Or how I got lost in your eyes Those big brown eyes I loved them But ******* I can't think about them That's Not Allowed I can't think about your voice It was my favorite lullaby Or the goofy side your never let anyone see Anyone except me Why me Why did you need to break me? I miss you I love you But I can't think about you anymore That's Not Allowed.
Its been a while since i didnt got to do what i love Time is passing and my habits got lost I wonder how long do i still have to wait
Its true that i want a new life It doesnt mean that ll drop the things i like
A new start is what i seek But now that my routines has disappeared i realised how much i should had appreciated what i did
They all say after the storm comes the sunnydays But i just cant no longer wait I feel so helpless theres nothing i can do What if after all this time no good news will come through
What will i then do?
Happy or angry nothing will change im stuck in a ****** up place Where theres no one i could relate to
Im sitting on my bed and the world outside is drifting away I wonder if they can feel my pain Imagination is all i got left my first and only friend.
If what im waiting for shall come true and a new start will be gained The world can be sure that some things will never change