it's all you.
it's skin and sun and sweaty bedsheets.
it's light streaming onto your shoulder freckles.
it's bad breath kisses anyway.
it's callouses and love bruises and i'm sorrys and no you're nots.
it's inadvertent smiles and stomach tingling blushes.
it's the soft spot on the back of your arm.
it's your sleep-jerks and messy eyelashes.
it's that scar under your eyebrow, the one that reminds you of your father.
it's your hatred of the tea I buy even though you end up drinking it every time.
it's you.

dentists are always telling me how nice my teeth are and when they ask about my brushing routine I wanna tell them about you
I wanna tell them I'm trying to scrub off the taste of everyone I kissed after you
I wanna explain how I feel close to you again anytime I taste copper. anytime I spit blood
I want to tell them about the promises you made, the "I love you"s that hide behind my molars.
dentists are always telling me how nice my teeth are and i want to tell them it's because I miss you.

WHAT THE **** AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THE HOLLOW GAP IN MY CHEST THAT YOU DIDNT ******* CARE ENOUGH ABOUT TO PATCH UP WHEN YOU LEFT

his house.
in the bath.
we just sat for a little while and he looked at me like I was worth anything
everything.
it smelled like wet grass and it was raining but it wasn't a sad rain.
wasn't grey.
he looked at me like I was worth anything and I believed I was.

I get headaches like ocean tides, the ache ebbs and flows against my skull.
I cry salt water and it gives me cotton mouth when i let it drip onto my tongue.
My shoulders ***** like rolling hills.
I bite my lips like erosion.
I yawn fault lines and spit sea foam and I kiss like the sun beams.
My eyes glisten like rain on marble and my hair falls around me like mid August leaves.
I smile like moonlit caverns and laugh like wind filled wheat fields.
I love like continental drift and you are terrified of change.

YOU TOLD ME TO CALL YOU DADDY WHEN WE ****** AND I BLEW OUT MY THROAT FROM SCREAMING ALL NIGHT SO YOU PUT YOUR HAND OVER MY MOUTH AND I CANT TALK TO MY FATHER ON THE PHONE ANYMORE

MY MOTHER ALWAYS TAUGHT ME NEVER TO TOUCH DRUGS BUT THE LOVE IN YOUR BLOODSHOT EYES IS WORTH THE DISAPPOINTMENT IN HERS