It is written,
that we will move on,
that we will get by
until we reach the place where
the ocean kisses the sky.

I never try to imagine the night without you,
never imagine myself getting through
this alone,
this pairing, a sharing of hearts and of minds,
finds me
wanting more.
I want to write the score,play the tune
frolic and laugh underneath a
blue moon.
I want you to come through with me,
beside me to guide me,
to slide with me ,slip with me,grip and
hold tight to me.

If what is written is true then
these things we go through
will make us stronger,
no longer alone,
imagining the night and
holding on tight to the
dream.

Yehudit sits
at the front
of the school bus
with her sister.

I sit with Goldfinch
on the left hand side
half way down.

She turns
and smiles at me.

Her eyes glimmer
like moonlit waves.

Goldfinch talks
of football.

I hate football
but pretend
to like it,
throwing a few names
I know
into the conversation
to keep away
the silence.

The driver turns
on the radio.

A song about Mr Postman
and a letter comes on.

I look up at her.

She looks at me
the smile still there.

I wish she was here
next to me
instead of Goldfinch;
her thigh touching mine
as we sit,
her elbow brushing
against mine
in conversation.

Her smile seems to say:
remember yesterday?
I remember.

My lips holding
her lips in the that
first kiss.

Her body close to mine.

A pulse racing through me
like a chased cat.

I wish she was here
and not there.

I look up
and she has turned
to the driver and talks.

I wish it was me
she was talking to do,
my eyes
she was gazing into.

I look away
and catch a word
that Goldfinch throws.

How deep love sinks
and holds
no one knows.

Sinners and winners,
and Saints.
Don't give me a halo
I'll just throw it away and lay in the
mess
of my
own
making.

Or taking that on a bit,I
might sit in my easy chair,watching
the hard times and wondering where
the softness is hid.

I get rid of these thoughts that surround me,
settle down for a sleep with the gods in and
around me,all offering promises of
eternal salvation.

You can't save the lost
they are gone.
I tell the gods that
it's time to move on,
they still try to give me a halo,
I tell them
I'll throw it away.

On any other day
and in a different play
the gods might have their way,
the sinners and winners would have no say
just a halo
and what good is that?

Put your hand here
Yiska said

she took my hand
and placed it
on her stomach

it was soft
even through
the white school blouse
it was warm

I gazed at her
lying there
on the sports field grass
beside me
in lunchtime recess

the sound of other kids
on the field
ball games
tag games
others near by
talking
some laughing

what's it feel like?
she asked

a jelly
I replied

press a bit
she said

I pressed a little
my hand sinking inward
what's it feel like for you?
I asked

sensual
warming
she said
up higher  

she lifted my hand higher
just beneath
her tight small *******
and held it there

I feel your heart
I said

what else?
she smiled

a couple of small mounds
I said
what's it like for you?

like my heart
is going to break out
and sing
she said

I gazed over
her shoulder
a prefect was walking
our way
his beady eyes focusing
on us

best move apart
I said
the Gestapo are about

she moved away from me
just as the prefect
arrived at our feet

what are you two doing?
he said

talking about
the birds and bees
I said

looks like more
than that
he said
staring at Yiska

more than what?
she asked

more than talking
looked like he was
doing things
the prefect said

doing things?
Yiska said
what do you mean
doing things?

she sat up
and pulled down
her skirt
over her knees

the prefect looked at me
were you?

what?

doing things?

we were talking

and the rest
he said
I saw you
put your hand
on her

did I?
I asked Yiska

not that I remember
she said

the prefect  stared
at us both
then back towards
the school

well don't
he said
I’ll be watching

and he walked off
hands behind his back
his broad shoulders swaying

she smiled
eyes everywhere
she said

we lay back down
and gazed at the sky

I like puffy clouds
she said
they make funny shapes
sometimes

she pointed
with her thin finger
at the blue sky and clouds

I gazed at her finger
the pinky nail

that one
looks like an old man
in a bath
she said

I looked at the sky
that one's
like two dogs
*******
I said

the sports field echoed
with the sound
of her loud laugh.