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fish-sama Dec 2024
i am an inside child,
handles are red-hot
doors terrify me with
screams only i hear if i dare
breathe the fresh air
of scary eyes i am afraid.
mom, why am i not
normal why am i stuck
inside why am i a
hikikomori who
hides why do i cry if i try to
go outside?
from personal experience.
fish-sama Dec 2024
Am I disgusting?
No, seriously, am I?
You look at me like I'm nothing.
So answer me.
What am i?
fish-sama Dec 2024
I listen
I listen and learn
I repeat nonsense words
I am the collection of songs I have heard
I have listened
I am the repeat-machine
I stamp the test-papers with my mind until I grind to null
I am the flutter of wounded ears
I am the stutter of worn-out gears
I listen
I want no more than a sound
I am no more stilted than the final power-down
I am no longer.
I listen
I listen
I wonder at life
Unreachably supreme, a fever dream that eludes me on all tries, what is it but the soft sigh of soul strokes heart of breathing apart, wings oiled at the seams, flash of black, eyes reflect the splatters of light of laughter twittering, cracks of skin shimmering red dawn engulfing fingers curled upon your blisters, yearning sense of worth and I wonder at
Tasting sweet, dissolving sweat of aching arms slippery, sweltering but comforted by breezes the smell of left-over rain and chlorophyll fills lungs of rusty overuse from the pulse on your left temple, let go at listening splash on stone of shoes on road and of poetry and prose
Unattainably beautiful
I listen.
fish-sama Dec 2024
The faint patters of a marimba
greets your entrance, my love,
harmonics strung behind
silken curtains of muted chords
and
all is quiet but deafening in the beating of my heart.
fish-sama Dec 2024
Pin her upon bulletin boards
like some poster of a prize to possess             the crowd
putters past the perfect picture,
eyes across her breast
eyes averted from her breath:
for the smell reminds them she is not dead
she is something more she is their darkest moment she is aliv—
forget forget forget

They tied her with string, dulling pain
with sweet words, promises
of wealth
decay.
Maybe with time comes the slow death
of love, the dissolving
of once-revered offerings upon the shrine
of the meaning of "human"
on SALE. Gaze! Gaze upon
her line-marks of your so-called
respect slashing into her,
bands of red sash upon her pillars                      you, YOUR
hands suffocate,
deface that sweet taste of her crumbling of hash marks counting the days until the object falls to waste, discarded to die.
Years and years, again and again.
New posters, new pictures, new crowds.

forget forget forget
fish-sama Nov 2024
You left at sunset, so I
took some photos,
hoping to fill
the gaping hole
with your fading shadow.
fish-sama Nov 2024
Therefore we laugh our lungs to shreds
Correct naive thinking, make it
Sixty pieces of hurt again!

tasked with toasting the cremation.        
poetry for ashes re-lit.        
therefore we cry our lungs to shreds.          

Look! Their steadfast expectations!
Ninety times we’ve already torn it
To sixty pieces of hurt. Again!

the casket burning, resignation.            
nine lives in flames can we douse it?           
therefore we spit our lungs to shreds.            

Look! They saved this aging, ancient
Disappointing broken relic in
Sixty pieces of hurt again!

Ha! Did you think you’d find the reasons?
Did you think I’d tell the meaning?
Therefore I laugh my lungs to shreds
To sixty pieces of hurt again.

Are you disillusioned yet?
Disillusionment told from 2 perspectives
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