6 Muslims
were killed
in Canada
in one day
last week,

this is
a higher
figure
than that
of Americans
killed by refugees
over the last
20 years,

the killer
was a white guy,
a Supremacist,
and as far as
I know
Trump has shared
not a word
of sympathy
or condolence
on this tragic
crime,

as of today,
not
a
single
solitary
word.

cedar planks line the dim lit hall
morning snow begins to fall
sepia print in a chipped wood frame
embers spark from the franklin flame

rustling sounds from bunks below
records play in a tight alcove
bacon grills on an iron sheet
gloves are warmed by baseboard heat

bean bags tossed on colored ****
papka placed as a punching bag
red brick wall with mounted poles
windows filled with glacier bowls

whiskey jack on the southern rail
a frozen patch of wine and ale
pine cones fall in gathering white
brothers bathed in firelight

sleighs are on the table top
canyon road is at a stop
northern winds that bite the face
lines are up the gondola base

cornice clipped by gully goats
the rubber man appears to float
alpine depths are on the rise
peaking sun through parting skies

triple ropes and nordic luge
honored guests from baton rouge
gelande jumps on rainbow drive
nostalgia’s light and warm reply

It breaks my heart
to watch the women around me
allow men

to silence their song,
mute their colors,
smolder their fire.

Love is meant to lift us up,
not destroy our existence.

they called me a whirlwind
of tragedy and affliction,
a life controlled by suicide and addiction.
a corrupted mind plagued
with over-reliance and self-doubt
and that kind of self-destruction
the doctors have warned you about.
a constate state of numbness
the kind of sadness you don't see
all i wish for is what i will never have:
some sort of stability

Wasted days hang like corpses
in the five second pause
between our lips
and thick melancholia spreads
through my bones
with thoughts of
what should have been.

I want to tell you that I'm sorry,
but that's not quite right-
I want to give you the oceans
that press against my seams
and bend with weighted remorse.


I want to tell you that I've missed you,
but that's not quite right, either.
you have been missing from me
and I've been sticking these leftover pieces
together with chewing gum
and bits of dental floss,
blindly trying to recreate
a feeling from shadows and memory.

I want to tell you that I've changed my mind,
but this one sits like a lump in my throat.
I haven't changed my mind
because it's never really left you.
I've been looking through this camera obscura
at all of the things I thought I knew
and I missed the ghost of an idea,
patiently waiting for an eloquent realization-

It's always been you.