Sometimes I feel weak
Weak to tell right from wrong.
Sometimes I shift towards excuses
Excuses that are objected to by the ledge of my mind.
Sometimes I'm powdered with flattery words
The kind that fly away when winter calls.
Sometimes I'd wait, but sometimes, I'd give up.
Sometimes I'd leave the door to my imagination ajar.
Sometimes I'd widely open my heart to contain a double of you.
Sometimes I'm miffed by your actions
But sometimes you make me grin wickedly.
Sometimes you're my headache
Sometimes, my tonic.
Sometimes I'd stare at every tick on the clock in the wait for you.
Sometimes, I terribly miss you!

What does it mean to be fake?
To cake on the make-
up
and
down
our eyes nod
judging simply
but step back
Us girls tearing off the hair that should just stay there
lathering up our bodies in vanilla bean lotion
to smell...well, fake.
Deception, Man-ipulation
It's not psychotic, just how we survive
When men stand like brick walls
Hiding insecurities
Fake
so when you picture fake
see beyond the
fake nails
fake hair
fake eyelashes
fake feelings
it's the way we cough out lies pretending to be sick
the food we consume
the cars we value more than her, him, who? Anybody
just somebody say what you are thinking already!
The phones we use to walk through photos of moments
it's all fake
and then you must take the time to ask yourself,
What is real?
The flap of a monarch butterflies wings
the breeze in winter nights
making noses red
and toes numb
the cracks in your fingers
and the creases forming on your face
picture this.

old souls
drenched in white noise

Are we not exciting enough for you?
our brains stuffed with everything science. thoughts
deeper than black holes.

Have we not made life fun enough for you?
because we'd rather travel into an alternate reality
than drink until our minds get blundered over just wanting to have a good time

Take a look. We're old and grey.
Holes create our faces like Swiss cheese.
Nibble at us.
You rats will chew anything up for a good story
And our bones crack and ache.
but you wipe us over with pretty filters
throwing fire at the truth, disguising what should be valued
But hey...we're scared too. We just deal with it differently.

Where were you, when the tears fled my body?
Does an "I love you" really patch up all you haven't done. Haven't said.
Have said?
When I fall asleep, will you be gone to go walk in shallow waters?
The deep end too complex for you
The fear of drowning, does it scare you?
How will you know how I feel if you —
don't jump in.