You know what I thought
When I was falling
Off that building and
I went into panic mode?
The last thing that
My stupid brain
Could come up with?
"Won't they be sorry"

I spilled some blood on the bathroom floor, mama,
But I swear it was an accident.
See, my hand slipped across porcelain, mama;
My skin tore like satin.

The paint flowed like a river then, mama,
And colored me a crimson sunset.
Oh, but it made such a mess, mama,
And I know messes make you upset.

So close your eyes, mama,
'Cause you're weeping red and the tears might stain.
Red for your lost love and red for scarlet fire,
and red for the young rose cut from the briar.

Maybe now I could be poetry, mama
The type you wrote about in your younger days.
Golden sun swallowed in carmine, mama
With its last rays dying in a blaze.

Fires ablaze within my eyes,
A smile concealing all my lies,
Screaming, begging, calling out,
A final, frantic, desperate, shout.

Scarlet tears drip from each vein,
A vehement covet to end this pain,
This silver blade, stays by my side,
Because all hope inside has died.

As each day ends, and darkness draws,
The devil toys, with all my flaws,
I'm helpless, alone, a worthless mess,
A broken child, he must address.

I'm tempted when he calls my name,
A way out, an escape, an end to shame,
To make it feel a lot less real,
A deal with the Devil, in blood must I seal.

They'll say I died of suicide,
But no one knows how much they've lied,
It wasn't a rope, a blade, or pills,
That broke my soul, and gave me chills.

I died inside so long before,
To live each day, an endless chore,
Pills could not **** what was already dead,
A twisted soul, an empty head.

In darkness I wait, in silence, alone,
Rose-tinted nostalgia, all around me has grown,
I beckon the devil, with the key of self-harm,
And I open the door for him, with the blood of my arm.

"Oh baby, you're so beautiful when you cry"
He told me
"Now close your mouth
And open your legs"

White noise screaming in my head
Like Venom I feel parts of myself splitting
Ear piercing screeching electrocutes my soul
I want to put my head through a wall
Down a bottle, maybe two
Anything I can to end this torture
My heart is desperately trying to speak to me
But my mind won't stop and listen
I need to feel my way through this
Connect with myself to move forward
But I'm locked inside and fear is the deadbolt
Sometimes I'd rather be dead than face it