there was a
      lantern
              perched in
                  my hand
                      and i was
      too afraid to
                           light it
                    yet the horrors
    in the road
        wasn't what
                terrified me,
            it was the destination ahead.
                        the light i held
              sought the
  road to
       illuminate
                 and yet
                       i just know
             it wasn't
                   the road
       i was taking
                nor could it be
          the roads
                     i will be passing...
                                it will be the road
              i take when
                            i finally decide
                                                to take a u-turn.    
with one foot down and a weary knee
                      thinking about
        every afternoon
             going to the 'right' garage
                      after strolling in the
                   wrong neighborhood
                             staring blankly
                                  at all the cities
              all the towns
all the villages
     all the blocks  
          all the intersections
               all the streets
                         in all garages
        that could've possibly been 'right'
                   and one that could've
              possibly been home
    possibly been hope
                         i park at the house.
          all i see is a
                one
             way
                  street
               stretching
                         forever
                             in front   
                               of me...
                               and the ride back home
                      so far away------
                                               finally
                                                   i
                                              found
                                                the
                                            reason
                                             to
                                       light
                                    up
                    the
way.

How can emptiness be so heavy?

I want gold to drip from my tongue.
As if to drench my words with importance.
I want it to leak out and sit atop my head like a crown.
When I speak to you with kindness,
When I speak to you with love,
to show that I am no longer bowing down.
Because I am dipped in gold and a queen of sunshine.
And I will no longer let memories of you steal the warmness inside me-
My hands may still be cold
But I have a fire heart that you can no longer put out.

- for all the boys who try to make you fall to your knees remind them you are a force to be reckoned with.

I live among ghosts now
Because magic always has a price.

To bring you back-
I had to revive dead versions,
Of who I used to be.

- This love is haunting and raising things that were better left dead has consequences
- You are here , but you love her