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words
weaving us together
strangers turned friends
unity in silence
 Sep 2016 Erika Castaldo
Quinn
How to date a mormon when you're not mormon.
Step one; Refrain from using the phrase "oh my God" when around his parents because I swear to God, they will mention it at every family dinner.
Step two; Hold the polygamy jokes, he will not think it's funny.
Step three; Do not google what happens in the Temple...and when you do google what happens in the temple, don't try to do the sacred handshake with him...
Step four; Try not to compare his religion to a cult because.. ******* it, be respectful.
Step five; When he says that he respects you and your religious views, know that he's already planning your next trip to the temple.
Step six; when he takes you to the temple, remind him that you will never get to see the inside and when he tells you that the curb appeal is enough, know that he'll always be wanting more.
Step seven; When he decides to attend a mormon based school, realize that cost is not the only thing he's running from. And when you find out that the school requires him to spend time with a group of girls once a week, as "family home evening", trust that its only once a week.
Step eight; When he's forced into
The singles ward, remind him that it doesn't mean anything. And then convince yourself that it doesn't mean anything.
Step nine; When a girl answers his phone for the first time, tell yourself that curb appeal means nothing..Tell HIM that curb appeal means nothing. That walls are just walls, no matter how they're put together; that doors are just doors, no matter how they open and windows are just windows, no matter how blue. Tell him that curb appeal does not matter and he will listen to you...he will enter and he will explore every floor. Take notes on every room, leave fingerprints on every doorknob. He will make himself at home and wave to you from the inside and you will finally understand when he invites you in to show you a ring on the temples left hand..and you will tell him that he was right. A curb view is more than enough.
 Sep 2016 Erika Castaldo
Helen
It's not the enormity
of the tragedy
that marks you
a survivor

It's taking that next breath

THAT
*is survival
you don't get to tell me that you love me and pick and choose which parts you want to love, and then simply leave me when you come across a part that you don't want
And this is what I do
What a child am I
The moment a social gathering is mentioned
Or I meet another with similar
Creative interests
I become crippled and inferior
Shaking in my boots
My voice shrinks
My mind is domed by a hovering cloud
Dark and Endless
My eyes become dry
No ,they don't soak
With salty tears
They stare
Off into the sad abyss
That is my reflection
My eyes are paralyzed
By silent thoughts
That have no voice
But the most physical effect
A caved in chest
Heavy breathing
Every bit of my strength
Refusing to scratch out my eyes
And pull out my hair
Because that
Would just add on to the migraine
I have been dragging on and on
Much like the cigarettes
People are so confused on why I smoke
Don't you see?
I am terribly self destructive
My world opens up
And I shut down
All the emotions of just sitting in the living room with my roommates.
death is not knocking
on my door;
i am knocking
on his
come back. we miss you.
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