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I left you a threat
under my pillow
on the left side of your bed
my heart told me to so do

I left you years of care
hoping they'd sleep
and drift into dream
maybe become memories

I left you wishes
here and there
but for some reason
it just felt unfair

I left you watches
hoping time would treat you well
and remind you
of things passed

I left you kisses
on your back
hoping they'd serenade you to sleep
on sleepless nights

I left you with a scent
that I thought
would shake your fossilized
memories of me

I left you,
way before you left me
but not really
I never did
I ate the poison with you.
I fell right beside you
And I helped you get back up.
I kissed your scraped knees
In the ghosts of your mothers lips
But I was your friend.
I resuscitated your heart
When you stopped it from beating
I drank your tears
And cried them myself.
I cared;
I never once pricked you
With the same needle
The world persistently penetrated
You with
And I would have
****** out the venom
From those snake bites
If you’d asked me to,
Knowing that you’d never
Take that bullet for me,
Even if I asked you to.
But I still jumped into the fire
To make sure you got out
Alive.
And somehow
You thought you were alone.
And somehow I ended up
In front of the gun
And you had no problem
Pulling the trigger.
 Sep 2016 Erika Castaldo
ryn
Ease
 Sep 2016 Erika Castaldo
ryn
Still the tremors
that crack my voice

Strengthen the resolve
in my bated breaths

Ease the tremble
that consumes my digits

Deepen the slumber
in my nightly deaths
I wouldn't wish me on your worst enemy
I'm the thoughts late at night that make you cry yourself to sleep
I'm the bullet in the gun that you're holding to your head
I'm the whispers in the silence that make you wish you were dead

I'm a walking natural disaster
I will tear you limb from limb
I'm just a living fiasco
Waiting for you to invite me in

My hair shines red like the blood running through your veins
It's just a hint of what you'll see if you let me stay
I walk like an angel, but don't let yourself be fooled
There is no god in the kingdom where I rule

My lips are coated in poison
I'm told they taste like death
But soon you'll be addicted because
There's nicotine on my breath

With just one kiss, you'll bow down to me
Not even complaining when I make you bleed
You'll head down the path of self destruction by my side
By the time you realize, it'll be too late; there's nowhere to hide

I'm not your temptress
But believe what you must
I'm just my own mess
Want to turn to dust

Hell-bent on self destruction, full of shame
Don't you dare care about me or mention my name
I'll stop for no one in my way
Darling, I can never be saved

Just save yourself
And run away
I'll **** myself
No matter what you say
I am writing a short story currently and am in need of an editor. It has to do with eating disorders and depression. If anyone is interested, tell me!
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