You made my scars
Bloom into flowers
But soon your affections
Grew sour
You breathed out your love
Through late night phone calls
Quiet whispers
Willing me to fall
That you'd be there
Through it all
But is it love
If your actions left me
Breathlessly broken
Begging to be set free?
Is it love
When you painted
Purple bruises on my heart
And slowly, but surely
Tore me apart?
2 years down
Your games continue
And I'm still around
My skin is thicker
Than when we met
My heart is wiser
And that is why
I took the decision
To finally say goodbye

Ocean blue
Our hands fit
Like mine were made for you
We danced on rooftops
Just us two
As clueless lovers
Often do
You promised me you'd be back
But it's been 5 years
And I can't even keep track
Of the different states you've seen
You forgot to mention something
That you got a girl
And she got the ring
Some nights I remember you
And I wonder if
You think of me too

I wrote you poems
On pretty papers
With pens
So that when the rain came
It wouldn't wash them away
You tattooed your words
On the walls of my heart
So that when the pain came
The letters would stay
My ink was bright blue
And yours was black
I'm left with your tattoo
And you're left with a stack
Of papers with poetry
That will only serve
For mockery
I will always wonder
If you meant what you said
And you will always know
I meant what you read

I don’t regret meeting him because through him I met a lot of nice people and I don’t blame him for how I am and I still don’t know why we went through what we went through and I’m learning to be okay with that but it’s taking me time, like before I would dream of him and I’d wake up with an anxiety attack and I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t love him when I was with him, but later on it grew on me. But I’m slowly growing out of it. I don’t have panic attacks when I think of him anymore and my hands still get cold when I go to places where we use to go but I think I’m understanding what I’m worth more than anything. I read a quote one time that said “you can be with someone 2 years and
Feel nothing and you can be with someone for 2 months and feel everything” and I think that’s what happened so that’s why it’s taking me so long.

If I were to make a poem
About how you
Make me feel
It would contain
Waves of sadness
And mountains of doubts
heavy rains of anxiety
And tornadoes of thoughts
Forests of innocence
That the fires of passion
Would burn out
Lightning bolts of panic
And whirlwind of emotions
That’s all your about

You are a whirlwind
Of fire and rain
A tornado
Of sadness and pain

When I first admitted
To loving you
A seed was planted in my being
It grew with every rain of love
It somehow became a part of me
And when you left
My body ached
You are like
A phantom limb
My body cannot
Accept your absence
Some nights
I feel it all again
I relive the moment
I did not give consent for
Such great a amputation
Though I knew the risks
Of keeping a dying limb
You cut yourself off
And months later I'm stuck
With my phantom pain
They took me to psych
Told me I'd gone insane
But after the sunshine of our love
what's there to expect
But cold weather and rain?