All the lights
have gone out
in my eyes
and you've hidden
the matches.

Didn't I tell you
I was afraid of
the dark?

Words run sharp,
Serrated verbs and
Cut-throat consonants
Against the back of my mind,
Blood trickles,
A stab wound that left a gaping hole
In the memories,
Shards scattered on the floor,
Tiptoeing so precariously,
Weaving through glimpses
Of eyes that were aflame with passion
And a smile that made the heart stop,
Not even a lobotomy could pierce the
Vibrantly violent flashes that are projected
In my brain,
Nor could an exorcism raise the remnants
Of tortured souls that were collected like dust
From the slate that I desperately tried to scrub clean

tonight was a godsend

he plays the cello in parks after hours while i'm smoking cigarettes and trying to think of things to write down later
he sleeps in the back of his truck with a blue blanket when he doesn't want to wake up in his bedroom alone
he climbs on everything and doesn't sit still and ***** girls that i can only imagine wish that he would kiss them too
he went to school for massage therapy and he looks like chris from skins and he was manic tonight and said i made him happy and he's sorry that he used me
i told him to do it again

tell me how my eyes
told you things words never could
how you could dance
to the sound of my laughter
how my hands were
the anchor of your sanity
how when i slept
the world was a little less bright
how my smile stopped time
then tell me how forever
ended so quickly

Can't you tell that my mind is just messier and messier with thoughts of you? And I crave the blade and I crave the smoke but most of all I crave your touch. I fear you crave her touch again. I fear you the recklessness she poured into you. I fear I'll lose you to her. I've already lost myself to these thoughts.

You saw only
A vulnerable part of me
Full of tenderness and mischief
All wrapped up in high-pitched
Giddy laughter.

I touched your growing beard
With stories of office happenings
And little rants of hanger and stress
As your empty arms kept me close and warm.
Then you held my hand goodbye.

Boy, you only saw a snippet of me
The tropical islands I came from
And reasons why I love my family.
Done.
My empowered heart has moved on.

And I am so grateful
Because you will never know my dreams.
No.
You no longer deserve my smiles
And will never again hear my giggling.

Hold on to the memory of me
Or who you think I may be.
That's all you'll ever have
A hazy visage
And never all of me.