I can't move on because of you.
Nothing will ever change between us.
No matter how many times we try,
we can never remain as friends.

But maybe it's because one of us
eventually
gives up,
and usually,
it's you.

As soon as you have my hopes up,
you drop me.
As soon as things get better between us, you leave.
And I never knew why.

You're constantly going back and forth,
in and out of my life.
It drives me completely insane.
Not because you're constantly in and out of my life,
but because I let you.
No matter how big the damage is,
I always let you back in to fix it.
Even when I know you create bigger messes every time.

Do you still like him?* they ask.
I don't answer.
Not because i'm scared of them judging me,
but because I wasn't exactly sure.
Well do I?

I look for you in the large crowd.
You catch me glancing at you.
I immediately look away.
I feel my face getting hot.
My heart stops.
I look back up and I see you walking
towards her.
You give her the tightest hug.
You look at me then back at her.
You hug her again.
I walk away as fast as I can.
I find myself alone and I feel it.
I feel the ache in my chest.

Of course I still like you.
There never goes a day
when I don't think about you.

-S.S.

I wish we could forget.
Forget all the things we never wanted to remember.
If the past is in the past, why do we still remember,
remember how it felt?
How it all felt.
One day we forget
but the next,
All of the feelings hit us again.
Every stab in the back and
every broken heart.
Why can't we forever forget?

- S.S.