The leading cause of death for pregnant women is ******.
Givers of life should be fortified
Instead, their screams echo because no one heard her
Tender touches turn to purple hand-prints with two simple words,

" I'm pregnant."

Affairs are always understandable
Until two becomes three
Then the situation must be immediately handled
Then three becomes one so a marriage and a reputation is saved

But no one saved her.

Eating for two, sleeping for two, living for two
But the two are dying. The two are being murdered.
Killed by the one person who once suffocated them with love, now turn their lips blue
Voices shriek that abortion is wrong, but the voices hush when the one killed is the mom.

Quiet as the morgue she now lays in.

“Did you take your meds this morning?”
Those words take back all the progress I’ve ever made.
My feelings are invalid because they are irrational.
Apperently having depression means that any emotion is dangerous
Apperently being medicated for it means that your negative emotions are a mistake.

“Did you take your meds this morning?”
My mother slaps when I’m not laughing singing and smiling at Breakfast.
Yes, I’m just calm.

“Did you take your meds this morning?”
My father shoots when I slam my door after an intense argument  
Yes, I’m just angry.

“Did you take your meds this morning?”
My friend spits when I cry over a deep broken heart
Yes, I’m just sad.

“Did you take your meds this morning?”
My brother taunts when I can’t talk to the cashier at Walmart
Yes, I’m just nervous.

Medications regulate emotions.
Medications do not erase emotion.
Emotions are valid, organic or controlled.

I entrusted you with a book filled with my favorite poems
I told you to look and read and tell me what you felt
I thought you knew that you were looking at pieces of me
Pieces that I loved and cared enough to share.
But you lost my book.
I should’ve known then you didn’t care about the pieces of me
Losing my book was the perfect metaphor for our relationship
I gave you everything, and you cared just enough to take it and lose it

I walk on eggshells to not upset you,
but it's hard to tell if it is working,
because my feet have gone numb.
You terrify me to my very core.

I never know if today will be a day that you love me
or love me not.
I'm like a daisy and you pick my petals whenever you want to,
but those days that you don't,
I miss your hands on me.
Because it lets me know you still want me.

People say you're abusing my mind,
but I can't tell what is real and what is not anymore..
I don't know if I want to tell.
What if everything becomes clear
and I lose you.
What if everything becomes clear
and you don't think I'm worth it.
What if everything becomes clear
and I'm
all
alone.

My friends say I'll never be alone because I have them.
But will they kiss my nose when I'm being stubborn?
Will they put my on their shoulders and parade me around their house?
Will they kiss me softly when I just want to be close?
No.
Because they can't.

He's my lightswitch.
He brings my life light and joy,
but he controls when the darkness rains.

It terrifies me how in love I am with you.
It terrifies me how you could not love me at anytime.
It terrifies me how this could all be over tomorrow morning.
You terrify me.
But I let you, because you're my favorite nightmare.

Why is it that the nights fill me with sadness?