He's different.

I miss him so much.

I haven't seen him in 3 years, yet his name makes me giggle like a schoolyard girl.

I get to talk to him once a week, but the rest my soul aches without him.

Anytime he sends a picture my heart does a little twirl.



He's different

I'm honestly not sure what it is about him.

He always knows what to say to make me smile.

He's so smart its incredible to watch him work.

Yet he isn't afraid to get his hands ***** once in a while.



He's different

He doesn't always have to be the center of attention.

He knows which silent look will comfort me the most.

He might be lean, but he gives prize-winning hugs.

No matter the things he's accomplished, he's never one to boast.



I don't know what it is,

but that boy is different.

In the first second I see you time doesn't slow down.

It speeds up.

In your lopsided smile, I see rainy Sunday mornings under soft sheets.

I see a brunch date in our PJs, barely finding time to eat between giggles.

In your easy laugh I hear jazz playing while we clean our apartment.

You smell like deep conversations and shared hoodies.

A kiss brings your taste to the front of my mind.

It tastes like the history we've shared through the years.

Inside jokes that others get lost in, we navigate like experts.

Most importantly, though, your body feels like home.

I see all of that in the first second I see you.

I'm not addicted to my phone.

I'm addicted to what it brings.

My heart aches when its not with yours.

So my heart leaps when my phone rings.

I don't think of my phone as a simple device to communicate.

I think of it as my connection to you.

My connection to wifi is moot if we can still call.

Because I have iMessage my other apps are few.

So no, I'm not addicted to my phone,

I'm addicted to you.

I am a Goddess.

You taught me that my curves were something to be celebrated

That my flaws are what made me real

Whereas before, I'd look at my self and become frustrated

I am a Goddess.

In sweatpants, jewelry, or nothing at all you think I'm stunning

But more importantly, so do I

So why for 7 years, from myself, have I been running?

Maybe I was running to you, maybe I was running to myself, maybe I was just running

Whyever I was running, I was glad I ended up in your arms

Why does it feel like I can't help you?

I realize that I can,

Its these negative thoughts in my head,

I need to ban.

Instead of sinking into myself,

I reach out.

I reach out to wipe your tears.

I reach out to lend my ears.

I reach out to take your fears.

I reach out to you.

You are more important than the voices in my head

You are the reason I can get out of bed

The least I can do is try to do the same

You're the first I've reached for

I was scared you'd view it as a chore

But the warmth of you leaning into me and squeezing my thumb was, enough

It was enough to make me feel like I was enough.

Yes, I'm in love

She has straight blonde hair and a smile as wide as the Pacific

During the summer the sun kisses her

It kisses her all over from the bridge of her nose, to the top of her bare shoulders

These kisses leave behind delicate marks

They remind her of warm late nights, of sun bleached morning, and of lush green gardens

Her eyes hold galaxies and thoughts unexpressed

The cupid's bow of her lip adds a simple curve to her straight face

I am so in love and so lucky

Lucky because I see her face every morning in the mirror

I tell myself every night that I'm the one you want

You hold my hand in public and introduce me to all of your friends

So I'm clearly the one you flaunt

You told me I am so much better than she ever was to you

So why is she still apart of the conversation?

You say I'm your first choice so why do I feel like a silver medal?

Maybe we should just stop talking, we're better at that

But deep down I wish we weren't