The light from the hallway filters into the room,
and all I can think of is always you.
The light to my dark, you could light up the sky,
your beauty which has no reason or rhyme.

Now I know
I am not the only one
waiting for my current interest's lover to leave.

My bones shift under
your heavy gaze;
my heart stops.

God, save my soul,
I'm guilty of the crimes I've been accused,
as my sentence, I confess my sins, give into my pride.
I'll leave you in the morning, like an act of suicide,
a constant burden turns into your heavy loss.
Your trust in me was betrayed the moment I said I'd stay,
out of respect, all that's left is to walk away.

I do not know why,
but I have this crazy
urge to just leave her.

I do not know why,
but I have become
scared to talk to her.

I do not know why,
but my thoughts on
the situation have changed.

I have become fearful of
what our future could
look like,
and I don't know why.

Collar Bones
Hip Bones
Shoulder Blades
Spine.

The birds fly free over the oceans surface,
circling the waters edge.
          You are the ocean and I am the bird,
          I may take the plunge, but you have
          to be willing to supply a fish.
Without you I would starve.

My mind has been caged for so long,
my soul longing to escape it's grip,
my ribs are breaking open,
my heart will never quit.

My lungs have found the air again,
my bones no longer stiff,
my muscles have begun to stretch,
my fingers are fully equipped.

My words begin to flow again,
like rain clouds breaking the drought,
i'll dance in the thunderstorm of emotion,
as my thoughts come pouring out.

Caught in a web made of thread spun from criticism and regret,
arachnids leisurely devouring skin from exposed bone,
a life made from those who have chided every step,
no escaping the entanglement,
no shelter from the ones who are meant to render love,
instead only malice is displayed over actions they refuse to forget.

Searching hopelessly for love on abandoned webs,
finding only others broken who were lost in translation,
the foul scent of decaying bodies ripped apart,
giving their lives to those who broke them down,
rotting skeletons of memories shattered on cobwebs undusted,
coming alive and putting faith in others broken who can be trusted.

Why can't it be me,
do you not see how perfect,
how everything you say,
how every move you make,
proves we are meant to be?

Why won't you open your eyes and see
just how beautiful you are to me,
I see a picture of the stars,
I think of you,
the ocean waves whisper your name,
I can't escape your ever-living grace.

I can't change how I feel,
my heart has been carved out
and stitched back together with
every word that you say,
your breath keeps me alive,
even though you are so far away.

*Please, we are meant to be.
Please, I want us to be.

I need 10,000 tomorrows
to make up for wasted yesterdays.

This soul is covered in ash left behind
from those who've burned me with their selfish lies
with matches in hand and flawed regrets they stand
as they watch the heat that chars my bones
and melts away the last heart-string I own.

No going back, they can't change this obscenity
they made their choice when they walked away,
my love was in their hands,
the love that encompassed my entire being,
now I am forced to give what's left to the dark,
the dark I've been forever running from,
the death I will now gladly welcome.

She handed me a rose,
its stem studded with thorns,
when I swept my hand gracefully toward it
she forced it roughly into my palm.
She pressed down hard, breaking the skin,
and as the blood began to run down my arm
she turned around and laughed at my pain,
breaking my trust with one single act,
but as she walked away I followed
with my head held high I continued
to let her stab me in the back.

she insisted she was the moon,
but i told her she was every star in the sky.
she burned so bright in the darkness that consumed her.

Thread wound from petals of black tulips line her soul
As she dances in the moonlight her silver lining starts to glow.
Her pale, glistening skin making love to the night
My mind escapes reality as my eyes regain their sight.

No matter how much she tears me down
She hit me like magic
I'm under her spell.
She'll leave me every time but i'll keep coming back
Enchanted by her madness i'm imprisoned by her grip
And i'm ******* black magic.

It's all of her imperfections that hide in her mind
As she creeps in the shadows her hearts beating black and she's swallowed by her pride
But my thoughts still surround her and she laughs as I cry.

One day my eyes'll roll back in my head and my heart will sink in her poison and i'll drown in India ink as she pokes her lies into my skin tattooing my soul with her malicious grin and i'll still be ******* black magic.

No matter how much she tears me down
She hit me like magic
I'm under her spell.
She'll leave me every time but i'll keep coming back
Enchanted by her madness i'm imprisoned by her grip
And i'm ******* black magic.

Your eyes hold the heavens,
your lips hold the sea.

She sees me as a threat,
I can't stop smiling.

So much anger built
up inside. These muscles are
tense. Rage takes over.

I woke up wanting to kiss you...
oh wait, I never went to sleep,
and if you were missing me in your dreams
it's because you were walking on moonbeams with me.

You've not yet left my thoughts,
not once since the first time we spoke,
and that's no exaggeration, baby,
I would crack under the pressure of that tasteless joke.

But how can I sleep,
your name keeps ringing in my ears,
you're like one of those bees you want to swat away but you're too cute
and you help make the flowers grow so how the hell could I say 'no'?

These flowers that you planted in my chest
keep me rooted but my petals are always willing
to take flight on your flitting wings to new lands
because adventuring with you would be the best new beginning.

And at the end of the day we'd collapse into bed
and you'd whisper, 'buzz, buzz, buzz,' in my ear
right before you pull my lips to yours and kiss me
but there you go again drifting off to sleep.

I will teach myself
to forget my name
and the names of many others
so that when Sunday comes
I'll be able to lay in peace
and remember who I am
without the world's influence
at play.
I lose myself
throughout each week
as each new person that I meet
pulls me apart
and places their judgments;
they only see light
but I remember the dark,
I like to let it come out and play,
the dark that made me most of
what I am today.
Everyone else is so afraid
to stick their fingers
in the holes inside my soul
that ooze the light.
Why is everyone so afraid
of the dark?

At the end of the day,
only you can make you happy.

Sometimes I get so
weak the only answer I
can think of is death.

I cannot sleep
because I have a feeling.
I have not had this feeling
since the last time someone
loved me too. This
crazy feeling under my
belly button. My
insides are tingling. My
core is reacting. Something
has changed. The vibes
have shifted. From my
core comes the sensation
pouring into the rest of my
body through these veins.
Something has changed.
This change is good.

Keeping a safe distance,
although I don't know why,
when all I want is to stop her fingers
from writing notes
with fingers that are mine.

The light is still on
so where are you now?

I miss you so much,
it physically pains me
to not be able to talk to you.

It is as if an astronaut came along
and snatched all of the stars out of
the night sky, and the moon
is left to weep and cry.

It is as if the fisherman caught
all the fish in the sea,
and the ocean's only purpose
left is to wash up on the beach.

It is as if a lumberjack took an axe
to each tree,
and the earth can no longer breathe.

The beauty taken selfishly to be enjoyed,
leaves the viewer endlessly craving it's return.

I miss you,
come back to me,
I'll be here waiting,
painfully, patiently for you to come home.

It was a cold day,
overcast with a few rain showers here and there,
I picked you up from Penn Station,
dragged you to the subway steps,
led you down the tunnel, onto the train.
You asked me where we were going,
I wouldn't let you in on the secret.
One train. Another train...
You saw the last stop and knew
right where I was taking you.
Coney Island.
You looked from the sign,
then back at me,
your eyes lit up right then,
a smile crossing your face,
you knew i'd been trying to get you there.
We took the long train ride,
Manhattan to Brooklyn,
a quiet ride,
we enjoyed each others silence,
only feelings left to feel.
Finally pulled into the station,
'Mermaid Ave.' read the sign,
our kinda place, this was our time.
The boardwalk was practically empty,
on this cold and windy day,
everyone taking shelter from the rain.
I led you to the beach,
the sand hollowed from the drops that fell,
you looked at me doubtingly,
asking with your eyes,
'how will this help?'
I pulled off my green sweater,
you looked at me in shock,
threw you a smile,
off with my boots,
you stood there,
watching me undress,
not knowing what to do,
not knowing my next move.
I was down to my bra and *******,
goosebumps covered my flesh,
you laughed at my pale skin and it's contrast to the sand.
I ran over to you,
lifted you up,
you started to scream when you realized,
every intention of mine was to get you into the water,
the salt that is so addicting,
just like your name on my lips,
you made me set you down,
and so that's just what I did.
I ran into the water,
screeching the whole way in,
you laughed at me,
stopped abruptly,
knew that I was reminding you
of who you used to be.
I watched from the water as you stripped down,
you came running after me,
tears streaming,
not a sound.
You waded right to me,
stopped face to face,
I pulled you in my arms telling you everything'd be ok.

Gone, gone, gone.
         Here, here, here.
         Don't leave me.
I'm not
         You're thinking about it.
         You promised.
I promised.
You promised.
Never enough, never enough.*

Stay                                    *I have to walk away

Your words have left me hopeful once again,
they seep into the cracks between each of my bones,
entering my bloodstream, through my veins,
creating a euphoric feeling I can't seem to shake.
My love for you grows each day,
I'll never leave your side,
I'll be here until the day I die,
I feel the weight of this beneath my ribs,
but I love the ache, it keeps me going,
it reminds me that you're here on this earth,
whether or not you are mine,
you make every day more beautiful,
your existence takes my breath away.

You were beautiful.
You gave me life. You beat me
down. Was it worth it?

Why can't I feel this pain?
I know it is there but I cannot feel it,
you have taken that from me,
and now she has hurt me like you did
and I cannot feel the pain.

I long for that pain,
I want to ache from this.

Instead I dance.

Happiness flashes through me like a lightening bolt;
here, gone.

Another left,
another's gone,
my brother's tears,
my sorrowed song,
time is fleeting,
time is lost,
death touched his hand,
death's final cost.

put out my light
put out my light
as Othello did to Desdemona
no crimson painted on porcelain skin
from false betrayal found within.

put out my light
put out my light
allow my body to sink in the deep
my skin will shimmer under pulsing tide
only a ghost, my guiltless soul has died.

put out my light
put out my light

It's like i'm standing at the bottom of the Grand Canyon at 3:27 am and i'm screaming your name screaming and screaming and it feels like the whole world can hear it but it bounces off the cold rock and the only answer I get is the echo of my scratchy voice that somehow made it's way out of my throat that is now raw from the endless need to receive a response and it's making my head pound and it seems like lately you are no where to be found and i'm just trying to make it home but I don't think I can carve people out of stone and I may be able to build a house in the sand but they say 'home is where the heart is' and my heart is where you are and I am where you're not so a house made of sand would do no good except to shade me from the desert sun when it awakens over the canyon but truthfully I'd rather burn up down here than drink one drop of water just so I could remember one last time how my body filled with heat when you'd say my name and my heart would stop when your light took away my last bit of pain.

The sun masks the darkness of the earth,
just as her beauty masks the darkness of her soul,
blinded by the light, she cowers away in fear of reality,
******* the life out of her by rejecting what's true.
There is no balance that she seeks,
heavy shadows are cast over her eyes,
blocking the world from seeing her soul,
refusing to let in the light.
She let's herself be free,
takes off her clothes to be caressed by gloom,
dances by herself with ease,
and in the dark, illuminates.
Without the light she learns her way,
finds herself within her soul,
sees what's true, blindness succumbed,
she has become completely devoted to darkness.

"You'll catch your death," she said as I swam into the cold ocean.
"I hope I do," I replied as I let myself fall beneath the surface.