The sad thing is,
if I love someone,
they can hurt me for no logical reason,
and I will still try to figure out what I did wrong.

I blame myself.
I can't help but blame myself.
It doesn't matter what happens,
it always feels like it's my fault.

It's like someone could decide to stab me in the chest,
and I'd spend my last moments trying to comprehend what I did.
I can't find blame in others as much as I can find blame in myself.
Because I don't particularly care for myself.

Maybe it's because growing up,
I was taught to love other's,
but not so much to love myself.
but it's no one's fault I ended up this way.

No one could've predicted I'd be so messed up.
Maybe I did it to myself.
After all,
I am always to blame.

I still have paper
Empty
Blank
Paper
Full of words I never wrote
Lines for the skeletons of forgotten thoughts
I still have paper
College ruled
The pages have more lines for what I could've wrote to you
I
Still
Have
Paper
And a sentimental soul
This paper had a purpose
Each page I meant to use
I still have paper
And some words for
You
If only I could send mail
Into the world of the unknown
I still have paper
Now that you aren't coming home

one day you're 16
and broken
and you swore to the universe
you'd never let anyone
hold your happiness for you ever again

then you're 21
and still breathing
and you continue to love yourself
'cause if you won't,
no one else will