I remember being in so much pain.
Like I had been stabbed a million times.
It
Felt so
Good
Like the pain was meant to be there.
Like all million blades fit perfectly.
**Every
Single
One.

Gloom fills the room
Can't be swept under the rug
With the biggest *broom.

Today I don't care.
Melancholy fills the air.
My lungs need repair.

Tears getting soaked in my beard,
From constant questions and fears.
Do I leave or do I stay?
No pro's and cons to outweigh,
The love I feel for her everyday.

When I try to grab the door,
I can't seem to get a handle.
My emotions run deep,
On my words I trample.
Face feels warm,
As if lit by a candle.
Falling to weak knees,
Feeling dismantled.

Feeling lost,
Feeling hopeless.
Breathing in air,
But, still choking.
On my words,
I'm sorry...
You can feel it,
In my heartbeat.

You can see it in my eyes.

The eyes that would never cry.
Are now the same eyes,
That *never dry...

Not feeling myself.
    If depression equaled wealth.
   I'd be one rich man.