I hate myself for what I did to you.
I never wanted to leave.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t make you happy.
I’m sorry that I wasn’t enough.
You brighten up the room more than a camera flash at the Cheesecake Factory.
You brighten up my soul more than that.
I question how I’ve made it this far without you by my side.
I was trying to change.
Nothing I say will fix anything.
I just hope you’re happy now.
I don’t think I’ll ever be.
I love you more than life itself,
And I’d give it up to relive the past.

I miss your laugh,
I miss your touch,
I miss your face,
I miss your embrace.
I broke a part of you
I never can replace.
Wounds once where
Scars have taken place.
You have my soul
All control.
Send me to hell
My forever home.

I gave you the shirt off my back,
And I watched you buy a coat.
You told me it was cold,
And left me naked in the snow.

Feels monotonous
Searching for glimmers of light
In such a dark world.

I give myself,
I give it all.
You never notice,
No one ever does.
It’s like the more I give,
The more you’ll take.
The more I love,
The more you hate.

Your eyes, they stop time.
Wondering if it happens
When you look at mine.

Christmas is pointless
Since they misinterpreted
Presence for presents.

I wish that I could go back,
Erase the pain I felt.
Everyday seems like a mission,
With the cards that I’ve been dealt.
We all live in pain baby,
Just admit it for yourself.
Despite my current attitude,
That’s hanging on the shelf.

Used.
Always.
No matter by whom.
I will always be the pawn.
In your next move.

Please don’t leave me alone.
Be my shelter from the snow.
Hold me in and pull me close,
Tell me that you won’t let go.

I wish you knew how hard I’m trying.
How hard it is to get out of bed.
How hard it is to be around people.
How hard it is to crack a smile and pretend.
I wish you knew how much I loved you.
I wish you knew it’s not your fault.
I wish
;

I ran out of breath,
Trying to chase
Happiness.

Always scared to speak.
Feels easier to blend in,
Than to be unique.

Found comfort in pain.
Self-Sabotaging until,
It's felt once again.

The entire world could love you,
But if you don't love yourself.
You will always feel alone.

Broken and battered,
Pieces of me lay scattered.
Where I once called* *home.

You want me to leave,
But you tell me to stay.
Tell me to pack my things,
But don't want me to runaway.
Tell me the things I do you hate,
But appreciate them
When it's too* *late.

A* bad taste.
A waste of space.
A** *mothers disgrace.

Playing as a pawn
Not realizing that I was
A* king *this whole time.

She's not a Girl Scout,
But she can tie my stomach
In the tightest* *knot.

Drowning* *in a sea
Of bad thoughts, all hope is lost.
Searching for the cause.

You hang around clowns,
Wondering why your life looks
Like it's a* *circus.

I miss you so* much.
I can still hear you saying
*"Things will never change."

My journal entries
Have turned into descriptive
Self hatred* *novels.

I'd burn every bridge
To avoid driving down that
Road ever* *again.