Armchairs and whiskey.
Bottle on the side table.
Eyes open wide, unable
to sleep. Thoughts creep
into his shaking skull.
Hands shake and grip the bow.
He pulls his scream across a string,
because his throat won't voice his wearied woe.

The sound's more than just pain,
and it tells more of his aching bones
than it should.
He plays the tears he can't show,
and it's understood
as the instrument moans.
That's all he needs to show a world
that doesn't know what his pain sounds like.
He'd talk about it if he could. Rachmaninov understood.

*******, Pavlov.

I'm better now.
Beat. Shake. Hands shake.
You okay? Blink. "I'm fine."
(Don't think. It's not a crime
to feel like your skin doesn't fit.)
To not really want to quit
any more. Hands shake. Beat. Blink.
Break. Boots quake.
Blisters pop inside your brain.
You okay? Blink. What?
"Sorry. Just not sleeping well."
(Going through Hell. Can't tell you that.)

I'm fine. Thanks for the sympathy.
(Throw me a line.)

I have your card but I don't have your number
I try to recall but its hard to remember
A plan, tonic, mixed with your half slumber
Just because they pretend doesn't mean that they care

I read your words and its easy to see
That you've been a basketball after everyone from me
Passed around like you were hot gossip
But they all left once you gave what they wanted

Why was it so hard to accept what I offered?
We both did things to anger each other
And after that we realized
It was ourselves we came to despise

I'm tired of faking
Tired of playing this act
I'm sick of pretending
Pretending like I couldn't care less

Don't tell me your number
I'll only falter
In the act of moving on
Don't tell me your number
Cuz these images
Will be my roadblock.

Relax, I'm finished
Feel free to open your eyes, look and see
What I've removed from you...
Sat back, I relish
These acts I can't undo, prove to me
I didn't take back what was mine...

Heartless, harlots always are
Heartless, our bodies now on par

Feel free, to express
I cackle at the thought
I ask but I know you cannot do...
Did you, expect this
Myself even I've surprised
Before me, slain, you are strewn...

Last kiss, open mouthed, and agape
Last kiss, I have made you smile
From cheek to ******* cheek

Heartless, I cackle at the thought
Heartless, finally you really are

I have finally made you smile
From cheek to ******* cheek
Our bodies now on par...

I dance between the graves
Of the bodies that came, but didn't stay
Praying to make it home dry
There's a storm raging in the sky

As if it were a camera's flash
Lighting strikes when I think of them
Counting back from three to one
That perfect moment, forever gone

"Always and Forever", etched on the cast
Of my broken heart that looks like broken glass
And the Jack of Spades fell for the Queen of Clubs
But she ran off with
The King of Diamonds

There's a storm raging in the sky
There's a storm raging in this guy
There's a storm raging in the sky
There's a storm raging...

Day breaks under the heaviness of night
Blue skies and bright light illuminate
The scars created under a backdrop of stars

Retreat...
Battle wounds only show defeat

Defeated or defeatist?
The ending's the same
A  morning masquerade
To hide the reason for this slow parade...