i should've known better
maybe it's the words you poured into me
it felt like alcohol and i didn't mind that
even though i was sober for 2 years and 2 months
there were whispers of panic and shivers of error
but i ignored them all
i shoul've known better
what happens when you don't listen to warnings
is that the storm comes faster than expected
you left faster than a hurricane racing a mustang on a highway
i should've known better
weeks after, feeling like centuries
i realize that she meant more to you than just a friend
she was your light; the sun
i was a mere shadow
i should've known better

maybe the reason
there are flies wandering around in my room
is because they can sense the rotten piece of meat in the bedroom
they know it's dead
my heart: it's decaying already

i asked what you were up to one day
and you said "in love with you"
later you told me you wanted to be mine
you said a lot of things-
things i semi-believed
maybe because i knew better
or maybe it was because boys had said that to me in the past
and they left quicker than lightning kissing the earth during a storm
there were too many "maybe's"
but you did say you wanted to be with me
you left though
like everyone else
so i confronted you: "but you said-"
and you denied it and ran away

the issue about emotions
is they cannot be turned off easily
i learned in psychology class
that there's this small part in your brain called the "amygdala" and it controls your emotions
i realized then and there
that i had to decide
"to feel everything all at once, or nothing at all"

when you left
all your belongings was with me
and i don't suppose how that may matter to you
on a Sunday morning in mid-July
but it mattered to me
because all the **** memories were soaked in the couch
and the stupid scent of you is still in the curtains
so i guess what i'm trying to say is
please take your furniture back
(please take me back)

it's not like going home
it's holding your breathe when i realize you're talking to me
and about me to others
not her
suddenly your lies are suffocating me
swarming me
i can't breathe anymore
i don't know why
you were the sea
but now i'm drowning