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J Sep 2019
I haven't felt my heart beat in a very long time
So long that cobwebs filled the space
A stillness stirred inside my ribcage

Until one night where your eyes met mine, again
And the world became full of color
My cheeks were flushed and a warmth radiated out of my fingertips

A low pitter-patter made its way to my eardrums
My heart was beating;
Butterfly wings kissed the inside of my stomach

And I was sure that I felt alive again,

I haven't felt this way in a very long time
J Apr 2019
I dream of angels but I live with demons
A hell that is construed within my home
And a heaven full of wishful thinking
J Oct 2018
Hello, world
It's me again
And I know I'm pretty insignificant
But I'm feeling numb again

And I was wondering if you could
Just stop spinning so fast
Because a girl has to catch her breath

The seas are crashing
My head is exploding
The grass is still growing

But my fingertips are cold
I feel absolutely nothing
J Sep 2018
I have become a shell of myself
And I am in the process of
Following my footsteps--
Tracing back to the days where
I considered myself free
And dark
And when all that was okay
Because all of this fake sunshine
Has my skin sunburnt and raw
J Mar 2018
My body is numb
Crushed up glaciers bob up and down my blackened blood
Leaving a stillness within my veins
A coldness that never was --

But I feel that there is a melting point,
A fire inside me, an ember beneath my ribcage

An overflow of nothingness and all at once,

Everything
had a first ever mini-stroke recently. was probably the most terrifying experience I've ever had. good news on the horizon but this just really shook my bones. tired of hospitals.
J Nov 2017
11 o'clock
Is when my body decides to unravel itself
From the stress of the day's
Should I's
And
Will I's
And
Maybe tomorrow's
J Nov 2017
'Cancer survivor' they call me
But I don't understand how they're referring to the past when
I'm presently trying to survive

And I'm constantly asking myself:
Is this really living?
I've been in that kind of mood lately -- that /depressed/ type of mood, you know, in between doctor appointments.
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