I've liked many, I've liked a lot.
Some I remember, and some I forgot.

But you, my friend, have always been around.
To lift up my spirits and make me feel proud.

I wish for you to feel the same.
To see the value and honor your name.

When your sorrows drown out the praise.
I wish you to remember the happiest of days.

Help will be enlisted; help is on the way.
We will hold your hand when the demons come to play.

Even if all seems lost like the Battle of Trost
We will carry the banner, on which, your name is embossed.

I pledge allegiance to you, my friend.
You have a long way to go-

This is not the end.

I wanna
mind ****
the ****
out of
your mind
but where is MY mind?

The curtain falls, a veil between
Thinly drawn emotions, more than they seem.

Her hair falls to shade a radiant face,
I cannot scream in a hollow place.

He loves me true, he loves me not.
The stage lights up, I want his passion hot.

Or cold?
She fears this is getting old.

In likeness of a failing fight,
Fly then run, walking through a torn night.

"It's normal" I say to the soul in my eyes,
But I cry that night, but everyone cries.

I don't think he does, and so do you,
On top of all this I must watch my own heart too?

It's normal I tell her, but this lie I have loved isn't
I bleed from my heart.
I plead for my art.
Is it normal to crash down, feeling so distant?

This play put on by us in youth,
This show of passions, far from absolute truth.

The vapor pours from their thin lips,
The smoke clears, black gold cascading from her hips.

Is it normal to crawl against the wall?
To bite at the night and scream and call?

Call for his name to pierce the dark,
To open the curtain, to erase the mark.

Her windows, thrown wide, show the same play as me,
And shut they hold all of my fragility.

That night I fought my own skirmish hard,
That night fate dealt you a burning card.

Is it normal? This lavish dance?
These worrying minds in the vast expanse.
It may not be normal. Or maybe, it is...
Maybe our minds are just torn like his.

my stomach is in knots
i keep searching and searching
rereading words and text
flipping through pages
unable to find the answer
to why?

why?

why what,
why i am like this
how can i stop it
was i made to be this way?
is this who i really am?
i don't want to be this
and i don't want to be me
but i can't find the reason why
and i have failed

my hands are shaking
and my throat is tight
my muscles are tense
and my stomach is in knots
and i have failed

i'm not the girl my mother wanted me to be
and i'm not sure how to find her
and i'm still here
searching and searching
rereading words and text
flipping through pages
unable to find the answer

Why don't I think you're hot?
Other girls do more often than not.
Thinking of you leaves my stomach in knots.
So why do I hesitate if I like you a lot?

Why do you think that because Im not attracted to you,
That I dont think you're attractive?
You're very attractive,
Hot even,
But I'm not attracted to you.
I'm gay ***,
Not blind.