I watch as I fall,
Slowly down I go,
Into a place of no return.
No longer the same person,
That I used to be.
Once I was always happy,
A smile on my face,
Now I watch from afar,
As the world goes on without me.
The train has left,
But I am still here.
I have taken a long journey,
But got lost on the way,
And nobody can be found,
To help me back home.
The memories of yesterday,
Are forever gone,
And I am left,
With no one.

They tell me I look tired,
To get some rest,
But they don’t understand
The way my thoughts race
While I’m trying to sleep
Keeping me up all night.

They make jokes that sting
And ask why I’m so uptight,
But they don’t understand
That I fear everything
And the worrying doesn’t stop
But it’s out of my control.

They mock me
And my fake laugh,
But they don’t understand
That sometimes I’m so down
And my thoughts are so scary
That I use it to hide the pain
Because showing it
Would make them run.

They tell me that I’m too hyper
That I’m an annoyance
And I need to calm down,
But they don’t understand
That sometimes I reach highs
That I can’t control
But they’re easier to witness
Than the terrifying lows.

They say I need to worry less
And tell me to just relax,
But they don’t understand
That if it was that easy
I would be the calmest person
In the world
Because that is all I want.

They tell me my illness isn’t real
That it’s all in my head,
But they don’t understand
That mental illness
Is just as uncontrollable
And painfully fatal
As cancer.

They say I’m crazy
That I’m ****** up and weird,
But they don’t understand
What goes on in my head
And how much it hurts
To be misunderstood.

I refuse not to be someone;

A step forward, a hundred back
with these type of flow, can I turn it back?
The time I spent wastin'
on all the things that amounted to nothin'

If given the chance to redo everything
Would I be able to make the right choices?
or Will I end up being with the current me?

would walking down that path again
also amount to nothing?
or will it bear fruit to something?

Something that might give hope to the me
who felt like I have lost sight of what's in it for me