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  Jul 2015 Destiny
jennee
after tonight
i will watch you slip from my fingers and into the path that you choose
you will not be mine nor will you know that i have been holding you by my fingers all this time
i will watch you go into someone else's arms yet i will be content that you will find the person that will hold you by the tips of their fingers and hands
i will continue to treasure your smile, because let's face it, it's what i'm good at
it's been 4 years and each time i close my eyes, i see the sun shining, peaking through a cloud, like the corners of your lips that gently forms into that smile
and to the next 4 years to come, whether i will close my eyes and wake up to you by my bed side, or to an empty sheet of paper, a cold side of the pillow, a half finished cigarette, or to the smile i have treasured
you will always be the first person that i have loved ever
and i don't care if you have to wake up to someone else's arms wrapped around you
just remember that i will always be here, waiting, maybe even forever

n.j.
  Jul 2015 Destiny
Cath Williams
I didn't cry. I couldn't.
I thought I was being strong. Crying isn't weakness though.
I thought I was doing it for the family. I wasn't helping nor hindering anyone.
I made myself ill out of pride. You were diseased.
Cancer victims don't suffer alone. Their loved ones suffer with them.
We don't suffer with pain, no. We suffer with the anxiety of the wish for health or relief.
Never knowing what would come. Always on tenterhooks.
That's just the way life works. Until you left.
Now you've left us. To suffer without you is almost harder.
It's not the death that's tough. It's the living that comes after.
In simple terms, there are three stages. For us watching the victims.
The first. Living a nearly normal life, nothing's wrong.
The second. Accepting the cancer and learning to live with you in pain.
The third. Living without you.
Cancer is mean. Cancer is selfish.
Cancer kills without a cause. Cancer.
  Jul 2015 Destiny
AM
After 26 days
I realize that I was not in the right place
to make any decision for both of us
I also realize that being in love with you
is a choice that I keep on making
every single day
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