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destiny Jun 2018
Do you ever just want it to stop?
The suffering,
The pain,
The numbness.
I do.
I want it all to end.

Sometimes I can't tell if my heart is filled with so much love or so much pain and I hate that.

I've tried you know, to die.
Many times,
Trust me it is not worth it.
I know that I don't want to die.
I just want all of the suffering to stop.
The pain,
The emptiness I feel in my chest.
But I don't know how to make it go away.
And I fear it never will.
destiny Jun 2018
Truth is subjective
Your mouth says I love you,
But our heart says I love your body,
I love the way you make me look ,
I love that you take me back even after I shatter your heart time and time again.
You may think you love me ,
But truth is subjective
to the boy who broke me
destiny Jun 2018
You are to me like fire is to an insect,
You attract me and give me nothing but burns.
My judgement muted by the volume of my lonely heart.

You gave me euphoria,
For a while,
Then you gave me misery.
You took down the walls that I built and then lit my heart on fire.
You gave me absolute destruction.
You caused me absolute devastation .

Yet still I can’t help but wonder,
Was it me?
Did I let you ruin me?
Did I let you shatter my heart?
Did I give you reason?
No.
It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault.

So why am I sorry?
Why am I sorry for hurting?
Why am I sorry for hating myself?
Why do I feel sorry that you hurt me like this.
Ripped out my ******* heart and tossed it to your friends to stomp all over and do what they like.
Why am I sorry for ever giving you my love when I knew you didn’t care?

And why can I not take it back,
Why do I still love you?
to the boy who broke me
destiny Jan 2018
You graze your rough finertips over my body, my cuts, my scars
You gaze deep into my eyes
You read them like Braille
You make sense of them
The words I write on my body
The stories I tell
The words that don’t make sense out loud
So I write them as lines
Ingrained into my body my body
As Braille
That only you can read
destiny Jan 2018
Dear life, you could say we don’t have the best relationship,

You are dark, you are hard, you are unfair, and you are even suffocating at times.

You make me feel small, you make me feel helpless and you make me feel broken.

You throw things at me, you are mean to me and you give me heart ache.

But you are also light, you are also beautiful and you are also extraordinary.

Dear life,
You are the reason that I laugh,
You are the reason that I see light,
You are the reason that I feel the warmth of hugs, and you are the reason I am here today.

Dear life, I will survive you.

I see darkness because I know light, I feel sadness because I’ve felt joy. I feel broken because I’ve felt whole. And anyway, some of the best cups of coffee are chipped.

You throw things at me because you know Im good at catching.

Dear life,
You are not unfair, without all of the wicked seeming things that you toss my way I would not be able to recognise the good and the beautiful in you.

Dear life, I love you.

You are a journey, an adventure, you are excitement, mystery, joy and love all bundled up in one.

You are a roller coaster, you are scary, you are fun, you make me scream with fear and with joy.

Dear life,
Thank you for giving me my lows so I can recognise my highs.

Thank you for giving me late night car rides with the music blasting, for giving me stomach aching and breath taking laughs, for giving me 2nd chances.

Thank you for creating babies and puppies and art and music and love and even pain.

Thank you for giving me the chance to live you.

Dear life,
The most beautiful things always hurt, even roses have thorns

Sometimes there seems to be more dark than light in you these days but there is light and I will heal and sometimes the healing is the aching.

Dear life, you are worth living

— The End —