she’d stab
and twist the knife
she’d “clean your teeth”
but make your gums bleed
she’s crickets chirping and ellipses
and that’s how you know
when someone has no love

and it’s always the ones
who once said they don’t want to hurt you
who hurt you the most.

~MN

i didn’t think of it as a relapse
because i never meant to stop
i just went without for awhile
till i again craved a drop
or more
     typical
     i thought
     for me to act this way
     one bit of distress
     and it’s on display
     even though i don’t mind
     if you see it
     that is not to say
     that  i’m proud of these things
     i’m just dealing with pain

yet again.

~MN

With these tears
also wash my dreams away
I don’t want to think or feel

i’m clothed but i’m bare
i don’t wear my heart on my sleeve
my heart is sewn into my eyes
so i can try to lie
but i can never hide

everything comes out of me
these thoughts and feelings
for anyone to see
in blood
in tears
in sweat from fear
even the air i breathe
tastes like broken dreams
and tells you everything
i could never want
you to know about me

~MN