i didn’t think of it as a relapse
because i never meant to stop
i just went without for awhile
till i again craved a drop
or more
     typical
     i thought
     for me to act this way
     one bit of distress
     and it’s on display
     even though i don’t mind
     if you see it
     that is not to say
     that  i’m proud of these things
     i’m just dealing with pain

yet again.

~MN