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 Jan 2018 Halsea Callis
Sourodeep
Bending roads beckons me
through trees' trepid shadows
Beyond the clouds, heaven calls me
while the sky swallows my sorrows.
I just love hitting the road again and again, get a strong feeling of belonging
 Jan 2018 Halsea Callis
KJ
The burning flames of pain lick at my scorched and fragile soul, I fear that one more heartbreak will leave it crumbling into ashes.

My heart welcomes despair with open arms, he tells me all the things I don't want to hear.
Tells me all the truths I run from during the day, but I cannot escape them as the sun goes down.

They scrape at me, scratching incessantly at my delicate soul, they coat me with their words, their bitter carefully selected truth that I cannot tune out.

Death becomes more appealing, why should I not end my suffering and give in to the sweet caress of misery?
Giving up has never seemed more alluring than it does at 2 am. It seduces me with promises of peace and silence.

Silence from the voices that are constantly screaming at me. I cannot drown them out, their echoes are deafening in my ears. Haunting, they are all I can hear.

Despair is my constant companion, whispering in my ear. Hope helps me tune him out and quiet the hurting. Hope continues to save me, hope is all that I can cling to when the world gets too dark to pretend that I am normal.

I will never be normal, I do not know how to be happy. My self hate chokes me, the pressure of being alive is a constant weight on my chest. I will never escape this.

But hope is there to soothe me, telling me all will be okay even if I know deep down I will not be. Hope chases away the attraction of death, for one more day.
I fear for the day that death becomes too enticing to ignore,
for now hope drives it away, leaving the dull aching and the desperate wanting to be gone.
since so many people are taking this the wrong way, disclaimer: this is not a suicide note. this is my way to cope with some of my darkest thoughts and share that there is always hope and that is something I cling desperately.
There's oceans, a thousand crystal oceans  
above Venus and the moons, swimming in the constellations, an endless orange stream of stars and angels,  falling like rain, dripping like a prayer, soaking our old home.

So dance closely with me, for upon our red rooftop, let's enjoy  the slow breeze,  while the moonlight unites the oceans in the sky,
and covers the Brazilian seashore;

   For it heals the soul of the green earth.

All the old sycamore trees, the owls, the hawks, and snakes,
all these things run for existence.

So hold on, onto my words,
Like your wedding ring, let me hold you close.
  For in the quiet broken night,
I can feel your heart beat, your emotions that run like water.
Let me hear the river and rhythm of your desires,   and your ambitions that lie

awake in you.  

Let this, let this moment separate what you fear,
as I listen to the drums of your heart.

    here

hold my hand, then let my voice unlock creation,
Echoing and speaking the languages of your dreams and desires,
for how I do love you.  
Now see the moonlight's rule over the stars,
speaking pictures of grace into the quiet night.

In such a way the power of the moonlight stands like a king,
thus I will listen, open and unlock the waves of your dreams.
As a response for the moon eclipses, I have revamped this, enjoy!
The last trailing tendril filaments
of moon beams nocturnally trace
fashion an illusory gilded chariot Ark,
whence upon celestial runners,

the approach of dawns early light
illuminated terrestrial space which
nebulous solar city flanges revisited
since time millennial hubbub of human

race nsync with Zodiacal constellations,
which appear to shift as planet Earth
axis place alternated in accordance
with inexplicable universal teenage

mutant Ninja turtles joint pact with
power rangers assumption sans
quotidian play station remotely
controlled by aliens upon oblate

spheroid figurative stage set whence
commencement nudged village
people foment quiet riot rage and
rant against uncontrollable catastrophic
frenzy, when cosmic creator rehearses

another page from playbook, which
color coded cobbled Bible
emanates with radiant hues of yellow
and osage nonetheless, no mortal

adept to predict (only within plus
and/or minus some marginal variance
of error). oft times punishing
atmospheric phenomena incarcerated,

pistol whipped (if anther incorrect),
whip lash unleashed, oppressed,
imposed challenging condition flora
and fauna could thrive, whereat most
hardy plants and animals didst abound

linkedin upon terra firmae asper a
murmur of orchestrated organisms
found plentiful glory vis a vis La'Chaim;
gnome hatter outlook required sprinting

thru uber vanguard, where zero sum
game pitted disadvantaged Feng Shui
living things poorly sparred mismatched
against it ching attired egghead, kickstarting

netzero beastie boys indeed emulating
hotmail prodigies holding greensward
ground. scrimmage fostered, elicited,
dictated, commandeered nature going full

throttle with pings across biological labyrinth
positioning glommed, peeved, mis tweeted
seeds of life, and white lily, within soil lent
green grubby business whereby herb and

woody stemmed recalcitrant proto flings
wrote toe root er bakers gave Gaia a run
for her money to buy Buffalo wings chasing
miscreants nimbly outwitting, out-rigging

outsmarting nettlesome stings, and sage
protuberant fungi, released messengers
where rise home spore ports left nada
mushroom, though symbiosis wood
bark a roll a cord gingerly sidestepping traps.
Dear me....

If we sold a couple days would  we have enough change to buy the moon,
And are we the unique men or adding space to the toolbox, another  rusty tool.
I heard their thoughts saying we were tripping and losing a bit of our mind,
That we were lost boys stuck in lost and found,  men so hard too find.  
Funny how we wish we could wash away  the past as oceans wash away old sands,
And somebody better give us something neat,  yet we receiving with some very  closed hands.

Hey boy, you still young boy at heart, we were  told to grow up,
I thought we were, but  growing backwards though, but they caught onto  us ,now what's our next come up.
Like we were the shadows of a shadow, we were so unseen,
I only cursed a person one time now I'm regarded as mean.

Fair play, fair play, let's play your game with some wild cards,
No rules set yet, I'll set my own, but now they'll say we slow like we were a bunch of retards.
And how I hate that word even though it's not applying to me,
Feels like you make fun of us all when you say that, you really barking up the wrong tree.

Fair play, fair play, I live to play another day,
Come let's see who'll finally win or are we playing this game a different kind of way.
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