I'm the pollen left behind
after a bee takes a drink.
I'm the bark that crumbles
on a dead tree.
I resemble a dingy penny
dropped and forgotten
in an abandoned parking lot.

I am nothing but a left over;
a mere after thought, if anything.
I serve no purpose.


(d.d.b)

I'm fine, I say
My fingers crossed

No, really, I'll be
Okay
Truth is for weaklings, right?

Oh that scratch? I'm
Klutzy is all
A little lie is all
Y**eah, okay, maybe I'm not fine

I haven't relapsed in months,
but tonight I am in danger.
The dreaded need is in me,
it's burning like a forest fire across my wrist.
I don't want to, but parts of me do.

I want to rip my skin open and that is so terrifying


(d.d.b.)

It hurts to know,
that despite everything I do,
despite how much I give;
people I love still use and abuse me.

I can never do enough.
They only take what they want
and leave the rest of me out to dry.

I try so hard.
So ******* hard,
but ******, none of them care.

They don't care.

They never have.

(d.d.b)

They don't understand.
I am afraid to go to sleep.
The nightmares are so detrimental,
that despite complete exhaustion,
I am afraid to go to sleep.

(d.d.b)

I have to be strong for other people.*

This is all that I know.

I cannot, must not, break down
in front of another human.  
My pain takes a backseat to theirs.
Cast aside, on my own comand.

I still feel the pain, however.
And when I'm alone...
Sometimes, when alone,
I remember.
I break.
I hurt.

Then I walk out.
Ready to take on another person's burdens.


(d d.b)

They say I'm crazy,
but if that's the case,
then what does that make them?
Becuase it sure as hell isn't sane.

(d.d.b)