It cannot be described
only imbibed
through many sorrows
and sorries
until the pain
recedes to numbness
your compass
points to death
& you see the peace it brings
the silence
the darkness
you make your mind up
maybe not today
or tomorrow
but you know
you're going to die by your own hand
& you feel
just a brief
fleeting
happiness

...

that's the sound of suicide

Am I a strong woman?
if I weep every night
and sleep into the afternoon
because I can never seem
to get enough rest.

Am I a strong woman?
if I'm constantly
absorbing the traits of others
consuming myself
with who I am not.

Am I a strong woman?
if I don't know myself
as well as I should,
and more often feel lost
than found.

Am I the woman
that would make my mother proud
after she's spent half of her life
teaching me
and modeling
the one that I should be.

Am I a strong woman?
if I can't stand to be
alone with myself
with my thoughts
and let my insecurities win.

Am I a strong,
independent woman,
if I have to question it at all?