Soft.
It was soft,
I remember it well.

Lost,
and dazed
under its spell.

Faint
but alive
is its sound.

Gone:
Not here
but not lost.
It is found.

Alive
and beautiful
and perfect.
and not mine.

Survive
and go on
I can do it.
I'm fine.

Bright,
shining,
sensitive
and subtle.

Gone,
up and off
disappearing
into the night sky
like  
a space shuttle.

It won't come back.

Shiver,
up my spine
in my soul.
Down my spirit,
taking me whole.

Please come back.

A silent weep
that no one hears.
Nobody knows.
and No one notices
the tears.

Tired,
resting but
there is no sleep.
No dreams.
No escape.
A silent weep.

Asleep,
but now
there is no rest.
Tossing,
turning.
I tried my best.

And my best
wasn't good enough.
No redemption.
No forgiveness.
No hand
in glove.
And no smile.
No kiss.
No laughter.
and no love.

Pulling,
the covers over
but still cold.

Found,
a four leaf clover
but the wind
took it
from my hold.

Her eyes are closed.

Remember,
the memories cannot die.
It won't be forgotten
no matter what you say
no matter how you lie.
No matter what you wish,
no matter how much you try.

Clouds,
they fill up the sky.
What happened,
who,
how,
when,
and why?

The details don't matter.

Calm,
comfortable,
and content.

Thrown,
not here.
Away,
I have sent.

Please come back.

Like a boomerang
come back
to me.
even though
I threw
you away.

Vampires thang.
I'm bitten.
And no longer
sleep in the night,
but run and hide
from the light,
from the day.

Please,
let the wind
blow it back to me.

Deserving,
I am not.
But I ask,
I plea.

How,
can destiny
conspire against me
so tragically.

I probably deserved it.

Soft.
And weak of will.
it was soft.
I remember it still.

*I will always remember.

I am a mash-up of mishaps, strange facts and movie quotes.
A cacophony of cool dancing tin hats,
and concerned-looking men,
watching in white lab coats.

I am the hungry seagull searching for salmon,
dodging waves and annoyingly landing on ferry boats.
Dropping gifts to the sunbathers by the  shore,
they never seem to appreciate.
Until they do, I will just drop more.

I am the spinning cactus made of rock.
I am the wealthy, rich millionaire
who sleeps in cheap hotels
and wears odd socks.

You are the last bit of toothpaste
you squeeze out of the tube
before throwing it away.
I haven't brushed my teeth all week.
What more can I say?

I am the broken toy tossed under the bed.
I am the breaking glass, the slamming door,
the words misquoted, misused,
and more than often misread.

I am the one who bites off
more than they can chew.
I am the one who tries and
tries and
tries
to
forget you,
but can never quite seem to.

I am the one who stays up late
sometimes,
to ponder, wonder,
and write these confused, riddled rhymes.

Today is Sunday,
and yet it's already tomorrow.
In my mind, there is no time:
But there is sorrow,
and bursts of joy
and glimpses of hope
and snippets of happiness
and times where I cope,
but most of the time?
Nope.

But today is alright.

I'm going away for a while.
If you pass her by:
Tell her I miss her.
Her voice, her smile.
But tell her "boys don't cry".
Tell her I'm sorry,
though she already knows.
Tell her I still think of her,
say it though it shows.
And tell her I meant to say
that I wish things hadn't gone that way
that I wish I gave her a reason
for wanting me to stay;
and please tell her
that I'm not begging
or pleading
or wasting away.
Tell her I'm carrying on,
tell her I'm okay.

Tell her she's been in my dreams
and that last night I held her hand.
Tell her the cat gave my tongue back to me.
Just tell her, she'll understand.
Tell her it made me feel alive
to once again feel her touch.
Though feeling alive without her here
is not feeling very much.
But anyway,
tell her that I miss her
and that time we sat by the docks,
she knows,
I really meant to kiss her
right there,
but now I sit alone
and watch the clock.
"Time
goes by
so slowly"
Tick Tock, it goes,
Tick Tock
Tick
Tock.

But tell her I'm not lonely.
Tell her I'm quite alright.
I never needed someone to love me
or someone to hold me tight.
But tell her I wouldn't mind it
if she called me,
or took the time to write.
Even just to say good morning,
good afternoon, good evening,
or goodnight.
Tell her I was alone before I knew her,
that I got on just fine.
Just now it's but a little bit harder
So I'll sit down and sip on her city's wine,
I'll savour that bitter-sweet flavour,
and I will be
just fine.

Tell her Rome has fallen,
the war is over,
and I have lost the fight.
That she's better off without me
That what she did was right
But tell her that If I could go back,
and she knows that I would,
that I wouldn't hesitate to do it right
no matter what way God, fate, or karma
says it shouldn't or should.

Tell her I hope she's doing well
and that it isn't too late.
Though she might tell you
that too late it is.
And perhaps that's just fate.
Maybe we weren't made for each other,
like I had really hoped.
Maybe she's meant for another
and that's just how it goes.
Or maybe she needs nobody at all.
No one there to stand her up.
No one there to catch her fall.
But tell her I'm happy for her either way.
Tell her it's fine
Tell her it's okay.

But maybe you shouldn't tell her
anything that I have said.
I think it's best
for all of us
If any memory of me was wiped
away
from her head,
and she just forgets me instead.
It might be better if you tell her
That I never said a thing.
I think it's best if she forgets
Her forgetful little fling.

But wait.

I was more than that.
"And I know because she said so."
Tell her to forget my insecurity,
and please tell her,
because she might not know
that I was just scared
so afraid that she might leave,
that she might go:
That I pushed her away
that I pick up whats most important
disregard,
then foolishly throw.
But tell her I didn't mean it,
that it wasn't supposed to be so.

Tell her only good wishes to her I send.
That I was in the wrong.
that 'There are cracks in the walls
that I can't mend."
Again, to quote a song.

And tell her I'm a fool.
Not that she needs to be told,
because "only fools rush in"
and with her,
my heart was quickly sold.
Tell her I played the game,
I gambled,
and now all the dice have been rolled.
Tell her it's a strange feeling.
Tell her that "I will never grow so old".

Tell her when I asked for her kiss
and saw that look in her eyes:
I thought then she never wanted me.
Tell her I believed my own silly lies.
Tell her before I didn't see it
But God, I see it now.
Tell her I have to live with what I've done
but I'll get by somehow.

Tell her that in the airport
(for maybe she might laugh)
I was kicked out of a prayer room
for sleeping on prayer mats.
And as I lay on those mats,
a movie quote came to mind
"See you in another life
when we are both cats."
Maybe some meaning
I hoped she might find.

And tell her, before I forget,
on our last walk
she splashed a puddle
and I got wet.
But I didn't mind,
I didn't get upset.
Just tell her,
because I might not get a chance
that as she skipped, jumped,
gravity making her tied hair dance
"Well, it suddenly struck me,"
as she splashed that puddle:
and I knew, then and there,
I won't lie,
I would not deny
one
last
cuddle.
But such is life,
and life
is unfair.

Tell her I hope she finds her little house in the snow.
I won't be there, that much she will know.
Sad and regretful, maybe,
but spiteful I am not.
Tell her that I love her still.
Tell her
she'll always be my little teapot.

Upon the crumbling leaves and dying trees,
I saw you from afar.
The fields so green, a place for me,
somewhere it wasn't so hard.
I walked and walked
and wept and wept
and wandered
for it wasn't near,
guided by a sound that whistled through the wind
it whispered, "Please be here."
I got lost, it took a while
but in the end I found you there.
For once just to meet your smile,
for once to be under your care.
And though my sight was often sithered,
I never stopped following that sound
until the trees weren't so dead and withered,
until lush and alive was the ground.

I stumbled through the rich meadow of your warmth.
I tumbled through without a care.
I clumsily waltzed through your world.
And trampled on your fruit laid bare.
And when that cold moon rose,
and gone and left was the sun
and you saw me at my coldest
after I already had all my fun:
You turned your eyes away from me
you despised what I had become
I broke all of what little hope you had,
and now you wait for none.
Saying sorry wouldn't cut it
for the damage was all too done.
We've read this chapter and it's time to close it.
The dream, dear, is dead;
and you,
my love,
are **gone.

Dangling spider: without a care,
calmly floating in the air.
Oh, if you only knew
how much I detest you.
******* *****.
I'm getting the shoe.