the way she cracked her fingers
and licked her lips
sent shivers down my spine.

oh, darling
pucker up
and colour code those lips.
burgundy means stop
crimson means ****.

I'm in love with her.


The story is being written within the doubts and sureness about eachother.

My vision isn't as vivid as before, but I still notice everything.
There's some things that stick to me overtime and my 3rd eye is always open.
My dreams are based on conclusions, on brought to life "what ifs".
I wouldn't say dreams, because I'm afraid to sleep, so I'll call them nightmares.
The first time we slept together, I felt love like I never did.
It wasn't even the ******* causing this confusing feeling.
It was the look in your eyes that made me realize that this was more than just a few love letters.
I haven't felt heavy in a while, my tears don't need sympathy.
My cheeks deserve tides of my tears.
I'm nothing but a lonely star surrounded by tons of other stars that feel like tomorrow will deliberately break barriers in your soul.

I am not a poet...I am just a M.A.N
Living in a world where words can stand
Sharing these lines so you can feel
My passion for this art is for real
Infinite emotions I feel inside  
Will not stay silent nor will I hide
Writing clever lines was never a plan
Emotions open up now I understand
Explosion of thought put on paper
Reality smokes all inhale the vapor
Mold it..fold it..write it on a line
Infuse it with my soul than I sign
M.A.N capture your imagination then blend
Too much of me I would not recommend
Scorpio I am..don't play with me
You might get stung by your destiny
I am one finger in a larger hand
I am not a Poet..I am just a M.A.N

I might work in construction this summer, and lift heavy things to maintain a one bed apartment payed with labor in what determines your place in society; green paper

I might become a professional cross country runner, and wear my legs out every day to earn a circular carved piece of gold that I'll wear around my neck to feel superior for a few minutes, to feel like I've made an impact, when my own weight can't even make an impact on the concrete I step in with every stride I take, and sweat coming down my face like Pompeii

I might be a druggie to eliminate misery for a number of hours, to crack smiles I don't really feel because the key to my happiness broke in half while trying to open the twelve inch thick steel door in my heart...
So I'm using chemicals to melt away all of the metals in the periodic table that made this door impossible to break down even if I had a positive attitude, and an army throwing grenades at it that won't even leave a scratch on it..

So I'll be sitting next to this door, watching these compounds I took into my helpless body destroy the surroundings that resemble my sadness, and be left alone with an indestructible door, and all that I will want to feel... I wont

I'll become one with numbness, and become a still emotion in a dark place with a big door I will never open...
I'll admire its strength so hopefully my shaky hands can clench, and grow to be as powerful and brave enough to attack as the door defends what I aspire to be..
a human with meaning in showing my teeth and muscles in my face, that are truthfully moving without the help of a substance that deceives my feelings for hours
I might've broken the key, and my fists might be bruised and cracked, but there's no limits to will

But time is digging my grave without me moving a single bone in my body
To be looked back at as a legend that did nothing

I'll be posted on a plaque with my name and spirit in it, on a shaped piece of stone that people will stare at on a sunny day wearing all black while listening to the cries of my mother

"WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO, WHY HIM?"

"WHY GOD, WHY?"

Destiny doesn't exist, neither does coincidence
Time isn't for everyone, but it'll be mine
I won't have to rush to feel "free" from this "freedom" I'm living in
My consciousness will know, when my time is due
So mother, nothing will be your fault
Brother, I don't mind you bashing on me
Sister, I don't get mad when you scream at me for no reason, we all have bad days,
And father, I don't care if you never loved me,
It wont be your fault
Just understand that time gives and takes..
Thats all there is to it...

Time; humans limit to experiences

So now you know why I make bad decisions, now you know why I do certain things.


Now you know to blame time.

The harm leaves no mark
No scars to be seen,    
Horror in the dark
Hid its face obscene,    

Tasteless jokes begin                               
Real pain to deride,
The secrets within                                
At any cost hide.
                                                          
Secrets weighing down
Ending the joking,                                
Smile turns to a frown                              
It's the reckoning.                                

Out into the light
Truth is now revealed
Casting away blight  
Childhood wounds thus healed